What To Expect When It Isn't Expected: Childbirth Unknowns

Morning ya'll! Today I am going to chat about what to expect when it isn't expected.  A question that I was asked by an expecting mom yesterday was "How can I make a birth plan?" Don't think of what you are doing as planning but make sure you are educated about all the possibilites and have an open mind.  A fellow momma said it best, "flexibility is the key." Some mommas are planners and need that to help ease the anxiety and I totally understand that and it is great for this.  I am the same way, I like to have a plan and know the unknown.  The reality is, there is no way to know what is going to happen with childbirth.  Throughout the pregnancy there is a great deal of anxiety and prelabor nerves because it is so unknown what will happen.  I sent myself into a tizzy over not knowing what was going to happen.  The best way to prepare is say to yourself what will be, will be and at that point it is truly in God's hands.  The best advice I was given was to go with the flow.  This is extremely difficult for me because I need to control the situtaion, I have a very strong personality, but if you think you are going to go into childbirth with any control you are sadly mistaken.  The baby makes the rules and dictates what will be.  We can only help ourselves  by dealing with the things we can control, which are very few through pregnancy and delivery.  I found centering myself everyday made a huge difference.  Here are some ways I centered myself and helped deal with the anxiety and fear leading to childbirth.

Do your research and keep an open mind.
You want to really explore everything and anything that can happen so you are aware of all the possibilities.  If you educate yourself it will make the experience a bit easier so when something does happen you may not have planned on you are prepared. It is good to have preference going in but make sure you keep an open mind that anything can happen.

Keeping a journal of all your fears, anxiety and positive thoughts.
This will be a vent for you and allow you to discuss these things with you partner...though they will never understand what you are going through, even when they say they do.  Writing down your feelings will give you a chance to deal with this anxiety head on.  You could avoid it and pretend it doesn't exist and I promise you it will only increase the close you get to the big day.  Though normal for the fears and anxiety to increase the closer you get to the birthday it is important to keep this from consuming you.  It will make things much more difficult for you in the labor/delivery process.  The more relaxed you are the easier the process will be.  Our bodies are brilliant and when in distress they don't do the things necessary for delivery which makes labor more intense than it could be.

Visualize the big day!
If you take a moment each day to sit down, close your eyes, and picture yourself holding you beautiful, pink, perfect baby boy or girl this will help you focus on the positives of childbirth rather than the negative.  Because of the way we are programmed, most of us immediately dive into the negative thoughts instead of turning them to the positive.  Really take time everyday to visualize any positive you can with childbirth.  Even if the positive for you is the anesthisiologist coming in to give you the epidural! Whatever works!

Talk to your baby!
You want to try and make sure you can really connect with you baby no matter what stage of pregnancy you are in.  It is crucial to spend time throughout the day talking to your tummy.  It felt very strange for me at first talking to my tummy because there was no response; however, from the day I found out I was pregnanct at 7 weeks I played music for the baby, sang to him and told him who I am so he got used to my voice.  The more you connect with the baby the better for you and the baby.

Connect with other mommas!
We now have so much media which is a blessing and a curse.  In this instance I am so thankful we have social media. Here is the link to one page I found most helpful https://www.facebook.com/birthwithoutfear.  It will give you an oppurtunity to connect with other mommies-to-be and share experiences with them.  Having a support is so important.  I remember at first feeling like no one understood what I was going through until I connected with some of my girlfriends who were also pregnant or just had a child. Don't be afraid to reach out to other mommas! I would wager that 9 times out of 10 they are having the same fears and anxiety you are.

These are just a few tips that can help you on your journey through childbirth and make things go a bit smoother.  For mommas like me who have to have a plan in order to feel confident going into childbirth, trust me, this works. Oh yea, and it definitely won't hurt to make your partner give you a back rub or two. Hope this helps a bit! Keep the questions coming, I am thrilled to answer any and all!