Nesting!

Morning mommas! Today I want to talk a little bit about nesting.  A mother has an instinct to prepare the home before the baby comes.  It is important to get these things done now while there is the time because once the baby gets here you will be lucky if you have the time to shower.

Every momma is different and has different ways they go about “nesting”.  Some women clean their house until it is so clean you can see your reflection in the hard word floor and some women reorganize every ounce of their home so much you can’t find anything.  Whatever way your instincts lead you it is important to remember there are a few essentials that should be done before the baby arrives.

Something so important to remember is that you have a partner, friends and family who will be around to help and you don’t have to do everything alone.  If you are offered a helping hand, take it!  In my experience I wanted to do everything myself, and it is okay to do things yourself, but it is especially important to involve your baby’s daddy! Let him do some things to or let him do things with you.

Here are just some things to consider doing if your nesting instinct kicks in.

Load The Fridge!  You want to make sure you have enough food for you and your husband once the baby arrives.  Chances are that you will have friends and family bringing you cooked meals and stuff for the baby but you want to be all stocked just in case.  There will be no time for cooking for the first few weeks, and you most likely will not feel like cooking a big meal after you have just given birth.

Treat yourself!  You will no longer be able to pamper yourself the way you did before your bundle of joy.  The baby becomes the center of attention, and you take a backseat.  It is important to pamper yourself while you can.  Going on a little shopping spree is a great way to do this.  Purchasing new bras would be something beneficial for you because once the milk comes in your breast will get larger and need some extra support.  Get different types of bras to try them out and see which ones work for you.  Some women love nursing bras, some love sports bras, and some just like their regular bras..in a larger size.  Whatever works for you!  Also, get some comfy sweats, yoga pants, and cotton comfy underwear.  After childbirth, whether natural or c-section, you will be in comfy clothes for at least 6 weeks post birth.  For those of you who are planning natural birth and it goes according to plan, you will need comfy underwear that is roomy enough to fit in pads because you will have some bleeding afterwards.  Maxi pads are also something you will want to get.  You will get them in the hospital if you have a natural birth, but some women prefer certain types.  Go with whatever is most comfortable for you.  It also can’t hurt to have a spa day as a little treat.  Go get a pedicure and maybe a prenatal massage.  Your feet and back will love you after carrying around all the added weight.

Treat your baby!  I found buying things for the baby so much fun.  Your baby will need clothes, diapers, wipes, ointment, bibs..the list is endless.  Due to the fact that you aren’t 100% aware what size your baby will be, I found it most helpful to get one or two newborn one piece outfits and 0-3 month for the rest.  You don’t know what your baby will like so it would be beneficial to get a few small packages of different types of diapers so you can try them out and see which ones work best for you and your baby.  The same goes for wipes, ointments, pretty much all baby necessities are up to what woks for you and your baby.  Every mommy is different and y’all will like different things.  Get some samples of different products and give them a try.  Something I learned the hard way was not to buy products in bulk until I knew what I liked best and my baby liked.

Bake and cook some goodies!  If you are one of those women who love to cook or bake and nesting calls you to the kitchen go right ahead and bake or cook away!  You most likely won’t be cooking or baking much once your baby takes center stage.  If you are cooking, cook some things that will last a while, like lasagna, chicken cutlets, meatloaf, meatballs or a nice big gravy to go with a pasta dinner.  All of these foods you can stick in the freezer and then have at the ready once the baby arrives.  If you are one for baking, cookie dough is perfect to freeze and make later.  Bake or cook whatever you want while you can.  You partner will love it too!

Tidy Up!   It is always good to give your home a once over before the little one is home.  You want to make sure everything is super clean because you probably won’t get a chance to clean that thoroughly again for a little while.

Prepare your baby’s nursery!  I found this to be the most exciting part about preparing for the baby.  It is a great way to bond with your partner as well.  From going to pick out the crib and essentials to filming your partner attempt to put them together, it is a fun and exciting part of having a baby.

Get A Plan!  Something that is so crucial, is having a plan with your partner about delivery.  There are so many details about the delivery that you should be on the same page about.  I know in my own experience, my husband and I discussed not having any extended family come visit us after our son was born.  After the pregnancy I had and the induction and difficult delivery, the last thing I wanted was to entertain a bunch of people in a tiny room where I was barely dressed, trying to breastfeed every hour and constantly having to run to the bathroom to rub numbing ointments on myself.  It is up to you and your partner what you want to do, but make sure you are on the same page and your families will have to respect whatever decision you chose.  My husband was the one who actually made the choice to not have any visitors come see us until we got home and I was feeling a bit better.  We had my mom there, because she was in the room with us, my dad came because he knew how sick I had been for 9 months and was scared that something would go wrong since I had preeclampsia, and my uncle came because he worked in the hospital I gave birth and was already there.  Other than that, we didn’t see anyone until we arrived home and I was feeling a little better.  Make sure y’all have a plan and you stick to it together.  Even if it is as simple as where your partner stands during delivery, know your plan.

Preggie Pops!

Any of y’all struggling with MORNING SICKNESS OR NAUSEA?  I know it feels like it will never end and nothing that you do will make it better.  I promise you it will end and there are some things you can do to help give you some relief.  I talked about MORNING SICKNESS AND HYPEREMESIS in my blog a while back where I listed a few things you can do to help.  This was before I knew about PREGGIE POPS FROM THREE LOLLIES.  

THREE LOLLIES is a company that came up with natural products called PREGGIE POPS AND QUEASY POPS to give women struggling MORNING SICKNESS during PREGNANCY or anyone who may need nausea relief.  The products were made by healthcare professionals to allow people a natural approach to dealing with any nausea.  

During PREGNANCY most women are a bit scared to be taking medications, even if the sickness is so severe that it is so necessary.  There are some medications that are safe but even still, there is hesitation from many women when it comes to taking medication during pregnancy.  I went through this myself.  With HYPEREMESIS, which is far more severe than morning sickness, I had no choice but to take the medication.  I was terrified about taking the medication.  Even though my son is happy and healthy despite all of that, I wish I had known about the PREGGIE POPS.

I was very fortunate to recently be able to try PREGGIE POP DROPS PLUS and PREGGIE NATURALS (CHEWS).  PREGGIE POP DROPS PLUS come in 2 all natural flavors, sour raspberry and sour lemon.  They are $5.50 a box and come with 12 lozenges in a pack.  You can suck on them for at least 15 minutes!  PREGGIE NATURALS (CHEWS) come in a variety of flavors; peppermint, raspberry, ginger, and green apple.  They are $3.95 a box and come with 15 chews to a pack.  They are super easy to chew and don’t hurt your teeth as some chew products do.  They taste like a delicious candy!  Both products have wonderful flavors, are very yummy and truly ease the quease!

I would recommend these products to anyone who is experiencing nausea, not just pregnant women.  These pops would be great to use if you get motion sickness and are taking a long trip or going on a boat.  They would also be beneficial for a patient who is experiencing a tough treating that would cause nausea.  THREE LOLLIES also carries products to help people who are trying to cope with quitting smoking.  I have not tried this product, as I don’t smoke, but I am going to have my uncle give them a go!  

If you try these products, I promise you will not be disappointed.  The products are affordable and will make a difference!

 

**This was a product review for the company Three Lollies, all my statements are my own opinion and I was not compensated by Three Lollies is any way.**  

Fetal Movement: It's All About The Kick!

Yesterday, a girlfriend of mine who is 16+ weeks texted me and asked, “Is it normal to feel the baby kick at 16 weeks? I was up all night from the movement. My doctor said I wouldn’t feel fetal movement until 20 weeks.”  The answer is yes! It is absolutely normal to feel kicks anywhere from 15 weeks and 25 weeks.  It is important to remember that all women are different.  Some factors play into how early you feel fetal movement like, if this is your first baby or your third.  If it is your first baby, you aren’t as likely to feel the movement early because it is a new feeling.  Most first time moms don’t know what to expect when they feel the movement.  I was expecting violent kicks because of all the stories I heard, I had no idea it was going to be flutters at first.  I felt movement very early and I must admit, it was hard to tell the difference between my stomach growling and the baby moving.  By 12 weeks movement is happening, it just may not be clear to you.  Also, women who retain more water may feel the movement a little later.  It can also depend on how sensitive you are.  I had previous surgery around the area so any movement, I felt because my insides were so sensitive.

How does it feel when my baby moves?

If you do feel your baby move in the early stages of your pregnancy it will probably feel like you have a nervous tummy.  Ever had those nerves before a big presentation in school when you were younger, or a test, or going to see your in-laws?  It feels a little something like that...nervous, anxious butterflies.  By the time you land into your second and third trimester, the kicks will start to feel much more aggressive.  If you are among the women who feel movement later in the pregnancy, it is no need to be concerned, everyone is different.  You could have a sleeper or he or she might have a really mellow personality.

How often will I feel movement?

Every baby is different when it comes to movement.  Some babies enjoy their sleep and have a prime time that they are awake and some babies will move throughout the entire day and night.  It depends on your munchkin.

Can I make the baby move?

There are some tricks to getting your baby to move.  I must warn you, they don’t always work.  If your baby is stubborn, like mine was, and doesn’t want to move, then he or she won’t.  Don’t get concerned if you are doing all of these things and find your baby to remain still.  He or she is probably just taking a nap and letting you know they don’t want to be bothered.  Some tricks you can do:

• Switch positions.  Try laying on your back, I felt most movement when I was on my back.  Everyone is different, maybe your baby likes it when you lay on your left side. Try it out.
• Eat or drink something sweet.  Orange juice, fruit juices, they seem to give the baby a little jolt of energy!
• Play some music for your baby or sing to him or her.  My son would always wake up and do a dance when there was music on, which was pretty often in our home.
• Tickle your belly.  Once you start to get an idea of what is where, you will know what spots you can tickle.  I used to tickle his feet and he would always kick back.
• Have a cold drink! Cold drinks normally wake up the baby.

As I said before, if you try these things and they don’t work, don’t panic, your baby is probably just sleeping and doesn’t want to be bothered.  If you are feeling your baby move less than 10 times in 2 hours and you are in your third trimester it can’t hurt to give your doctor or midwife a call.

Should I keep a “kick count”?

You should monitor your baby’s movement; however it is hard to pinpoint when you should start.  Once you feel you know your baby’s schedule, definitely start to keep track in whatever way works for you.  You know your baby, whenever you have a cycle with him or her you should start to monitor how often the baby moves.  Every hour? How many times in an hour? More during the day? More at night?  These are just something things to take note of, so if you notice changes you can mention it to your doctor or midwife.  They will let you know what is normal and what may be concerning.

When should I feel movement?

Every baby is different.  It does depend on outside things like how often you are up and about.  Some women don’t realize it, but by moving a lot you are rocking your baby to sleep.  The primary time for baby movement is are 9 or 10 pm to 1 or 2 am.  Lucky you, right?  Your blood sugar levels change as you are settling down and this is what causes the jolt.  

When to call your doctor or midwife?

Once you have reached a point in your pregnancy when you know your baby’s schedule, if you feel it drastically change it can’t hurt to call your doctor.  The fetal movement will slow between 32 and 36 weeks or so because the baby has gotten bigger and is “running out of womb” to move around.  You have a bond with your baby and know when something is up, when in doubt, call it in.  Better to be safe than sorry.  When I reached 36 weeks my son had stopped moving for 22 hours.  He was normally a super baby who kicked anytime music was on or I sang to him and he slept through all of it.  When I went to the doctor they did a non-stress test and ultrasound.  Turned out he was just resting up because he knew he was coming out the next day!

Once you have reached around 24 weeks, maybe sooner or maybe later, you will feel your baby have hiccups.  This is different from kicks, it isn’t as strong and it will be clock work.  You will be able to time them.  They feel like a sudden jolt every couple seconds.

I hope this gave you some information on fetal movement! Any questions, comments or experiences, feel free to contact us at helpingmommytone@gmail.com!

Push Present!

During pregnancy most of the gifts you receive are most likely for your baby.  What about the things for momma?  Of course your baby needs certain things but so don’t you mommas!  Through the pregnancy it is totally OK to give your partner a little something just because, or maybe it is mother’s day or christmas, whatever the occasion, there are so many wonderful ideas of gifts for your pregnant lady!  After 9 long months of carrying around this little human and then giving birth women definitely deserve a little something we like to call a “push present”.  Aside from the most amazing gift you receive when you finally get to meet the bundle of joy, your partner can absolutely give you some recognition with a little something.  Here are some ideas of gifts to give your expecting mommas during pregnancy and after delivery!

During Pregnancy:

Body pillows are always welcome!  While some women are super uncomfortable during pregnancy, body pillows will definitely be an amazing comfort.  Most women say it will get them through their pregnancy and is truly the only way to get any sleep.

Gowns for delivery.  Some of those hospital gowns can be super uncomfortable.  There are always people coming in and out examining things and adjusting things. With the way the hospital gowns are designed it makes it very difficult to get up and walk around without mooning the entire floor.  Luckily, there are some amazing gowns by a company called Pretty Pushers.  They make stylish gowns for mommas in labor and delivery.  They’ve thought of everything!  It is good to have access for the monitor, epidural and any other things you may be hooked up to.  Click here to see more styles by Pretty Pushers.

Coupon book.  I am one for coupon books.  Just because it is a gift does not mean you have to spend a fortune!  There are so many things your love may want or need during pregnancy and you could make a coupon book of all the things she may desire.  Foot rubs, back rubs, any rub really is so helpful during pregnancy!

A trip to the spa.  Even not pregnant, most women love a trip to the spa.  You could get your partner a fully paid day at the spa where she can get a prenatal massage, manicure and/or pedicure.  When you look good, you feel good.  We know how sometimes it is hard to really feel good while pregnant, this may be a good way to lift those spirits.

Clothes always cheer up a woman!  You could always get her something nice to wear and take her out for a nice night on the town.  Get dressed up and take her out to dinner and make her feel special!  Some great places you can find awesome and affordable maternity clothes are Pink Blush Maternity and Destination Maternity.  They have great clothes that will keep her comfortable and looking gorgeous.

Make a baby book about the pregnancy.  Keeping a baby book is something great that you and your partner should do along your journey.  You could make a baby book for your darlin that documents things you see along the way.  Pictures, ultrasounds, your point of view, anything really.  This is a sweet way to share with you partner.  I made my husband a book through Mixbook, this site was amazing and not terribly expensive.  It was shipped fast and looked wonderful.

Push Presents:

Jewelry is ALWAYS welcome!  Birthstone necklaces and rings are an adorable keepsake from the birth of your baby.  My husband got me a birthstone ring after the birth of our first baby.  It has the baby’s birthstone and mine.  Be careful not to get it too far in advance because you never know when the baby will decide to grace you with his or her presence.  Our baby was due in November, but decided that October 30th was a good day to arrive.  Luckily, he had a feeling and got the October birthstone.

Add ons are great.  With whatever gift you get, a little gift for the baby is great too.  A onesie that says “Push Present” on it would be too cute!

Charm Bracelets to keep on adding.  Charm bracelets are so great because you can continue yo add charms.  If you have more children you can add a charm for each child.

You can never go wrong with shoes or a handbag!  A nice pair of shoes and/or a really nice handbag are a sweet gift for when you two can finally go on a date again.  Don’t expect it to be right away, but it will be soon enough.

Don’t forget about daddy!  He has worked hard too through this pregnancy and delivery.  Definitely not as hard as you mommas, but dealing with those hormones and helping you along the way is stressful.  In the delivery room especially, you dads are worn out from stressing and trying to help your partner as best you can.  You can get get a bottle of alcohol to ease the entry into fatherhood.  After the 9 months of anxiety and hormones I am sure he is ready for a drink.  Make it fun and entertaining for him.

Maternity Fashion -- Giveaway!

One of the most difficult things that I found about being pregnant was feeling comfortable in my own body.  There are so many changes that we undergo through pregnancy and for some women feeling beautiful while pregnant doesn’t come easy.  In my own situation, because I was so sick and looked it I didn’t feel beautiful at all, I just felt like I was huge and looked horrible.  Pregnancy is such a beautiful time and embracing your new body and what your body is doing is a wonderful part of being pregnant.

For me, dressing nice and keeping up my appearance definitely made a difference.  I hunted for places that sold affordable, adorable maternity clothes and that was no easy task.  I didn't want to spend a fortune on clothes I was just going to wear for a short time.  I did end up coming across this awesome site, Pink Blush Maternity.  Through my entire pregnancy I wore clothes from Pink Blush Maternity.  Whether you want to lounge on the couch in some comfy yoga pants or get dolled up for a night out, they have super adorable and affordable clothes.  They always have amazing sales and offer free U.S shipping on orders of $50 or more.  Something I found so great about their clothes is that I am still wearing them post pregnant.  The clothes grow with your baby.  As the bump grows the clothes stretch, whether 3 months or 9 months, they fit great!

One of my favorite outfits is a navy and beige vest with a tank and navy maternity jeans all from Pink Blush.

This outfit is super comfortable and can all be found at Pink Blush Maternity.  These Navy Blue Basic Maternity Skinny Jeans stretch with the bump and the best thing about them is they don't slide down! With jeans I found elsewhere they slide down hand I kept having to do the butt jiggle and jump to get them repositioned.  With these once they were up, they were good to go.  The tank top I am wearing comes in a variety of colors, this outfit would go great with the Navy Blue Maternity Cami.  Finally, this navy blue maternity vest is so comfy.  The material is wonderful quality!  That is the beauty of Pink Blush is you get quality and quantity.  Their clothes are great for nursing and post pregnancy as well because without the bump they fit just like regular clothes!!  Post pregnant I find myself wearing they're clothes more often than not!  Even the jeans! A girlfriend of mine who had a c-section said the jeans were really awesome because they didn't cut into you and you don't have to worry about buttoning them up over a healing incision.

I am fortunate enough to be able to do a giveaway for Pink Blush Maternity.  If you follow the link below to Helping Mommy Tone and enter you could be chosen to win a $25 gift card to use on any of their items!  Trust me, $25 with Pink Blush goes a long way!!

Check out Helping Mommy Tone to enter our giveaway for a chance to win $25 to Pink Blush Maternity!  You can also "Like" Pink Blush on Facebook, follow them on Twitter and Instagram, or re-pin their items and follow them on Pinterest!

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For The Birthday!

Leading up to the big day when you get to meet your little one there is so much to do.  One of the biggest things I never felt confident about was what to pack in my hospital bag.  I felt like I was forgetting something even when I was overpacked.  It turned out I didn’t end up needing my hospital bag because I was induced on the spot.  I want to give you some tips and necessities for the birthday.

• Get your car seat installed!
  My husband and I thought we had tons of time to get the car seat installed because our son was not actually due until 3 weeks after we had him.  Because we were not expecting to have him the day we did the car seat was not installed.  My husband had to go get the car seat and get it installed at the hospital.  Unfortunately, between the time he brought the car seat, came up to make sure I was okay and went back down to install it...someone had broken his back window with a bat and stole the car seat.  This completely put a damper on the big day of bringing home our baby.  Get it installed, it is never too early.

• Keep the tank full.
  Also something my husband and I forgot to do.  Luckily for us the hospital was only 6 minutes away, but for those who have a ways to go make sure you keep your gas tank full because you never know when you will be taking that midnight trip to the hospital.

• Pack the bag.
  Get your hospital bag and diaper bags packed so it is one less thing to worry about.  There are some essentials for the hospital but a lot of things you don’t actually need.  I, being a first time mom, packed everything short of the crib.  As I said, I didn’t even end up having a hospital bag because everything happened so fast.  I really didn’t need anything because the most important things were supplied at the hospital.  To keep you comfortable there are a few things that are good to have.  Most women, like myself, overly pack so here is a checklist of the things most important to bring.
• Picture ID (license or passport)
•  Insurance information
•  Birth plan if you and your doctor or midwife have one
•  Glasses if you wear contacts normally
•  Phone chargers
•  Cash -- if your hospital charges for parking or your partner gets hungry and needs a snack
•  Gowns for labor if you aren’t comfortable with the hospital gowns, especially if you are walking the halls in early labor, you don’t want to be mooning the whole hospital.  Check out Pretty Pushers Gowns they have adorable and affordable gowns to be comfortable and stylish while in delivery.
•  Sweats for after delivery if you have a natural birth
•  Cotton underwear if you don’t like the underwear the hospital provides and sports bras or nursing bras, whatever is most comfortable for you
•  If you don’t have an Iphone or Ipod that can take pictures and want to bring a camera
• An Ipod or some device that can play music to help relax you
•  Toiletries -- toothbrush, toothpaste, ect.                                                                                                                           Anything else you think you may need the hospital will provide.  As far as what you may need for the baby, the hospital will give you everything you need, and what you don’t have your partner can bring you.

• Stock the car.
  Keep the hospital bag in the car at the ready because you never know.  Also, put some of the value pack peanut crackers or lunch bag size chips in the car for your partner to have because you don’t know how long the process will be.  Some women vomit during labor, so keep a bucket or barf bag handy just in case it’s a bumpy ride.

Bring anything you feel you may need or that makes you comfortable but here are just some essentials to bring to the hospital and some tips to help you leading up to the big day.

You've Been Marked!

So many things are happening to your body internally from the time you conceive.  Not only are there changes happening on the inside, but on the out as well.  In some women you will notice changes in your face, nose, lips, hair, and your skin.  The biggest change you will find is in your skin.  Some women are lucky enough to get stretch marks.

Stretch marks are when the elastic fibers under the skin’s surface break.  This results in purple or white lines that form on your body when your body is growing and your skin isn’t able to keep up.  Some people who gain weight in a short span of time may notice them.  In pregnancy, with your belly growing and your breasts growing if your skin doesn’t have enough elasticity to keep up with the growth you will see what is known as stretch marks.  You will most likely find them on your belly or breasts, but they can also form on your thighs, bum, lower back, and under arms.

When I was pregnant people kept telling me to rub cocoa butter all over my body to help prevent stretch marks.  The brutal reality is you can not prevent them.  It depends on the elasticity of your skin and genetics does play a part, if your mom had them you are at greater risk of getting them.  Though you can not prevent them, using lotions is certainly something you can do to keep them under control while you are expanding to make room for your little nugget.  Keeping the skin hydrated will help with the itchiness you may have from the skin stretching.  When you scratch the skin it will make the stretch marks worse.

The good news is after the pregnancy some of the stretch marks will eventually fade. They never really go away but they can fade to a faint line that blends more with the skin; however, there are some marks that remain front and center.  Since they can not be prevented, if you are lucky enough to get them, focus on helping them fade post pregnancy rather than trying to prevent them from happening.

Here are some ways to help stretch marks fade after the baby is born and improve your skins elasticity.

Massage the skin.  By massaging the skin with natural lubricants you will be helping the elasticity in your skin which will at the very least help in the color of the marks.  A few lubricants that are beneficial to use are:

• Almond Oil
• Alive Oil
• Aloe Vera
• Cocoa Butter
• Shea Butter
• Vitamin E Lotion

Drink plenty of water.  Water helps keep your skin healthy which should help your skin recuperate from the stress that it’s endured.

Exfoliate the skin.  By exfoliating the skin you will be getting rid of dead cells allowing the skin new skin to breath.  This will help with itchiness and will help the marks fade over time.  To avoid spending a ton of money on exfoliators that have a bunch of chemicals in them you can make some exfoliators at home.  Sugar is an excellent exfoliator and you can usually find it right in your kitchen.  If you add a bit of olive oil or almond oil and some lemon juice to the sugar you now have the paste-like substance you need to exfoliate.  When you shower gently massage this over the necessary areas for a couple of minutes and rinse it off.

Rub lemon over the trouble spots.  Cut a lemon in half and rub the lemon all over any trouble spots you find.  Lemon is an awesome way of rejuvenating your skin.  The acidity from the lemon helps fade any redness and helps repair the damaged skin.

Take a bath.  Not just any bath, add some sea salt to your tub of warm water.  The salt water will help excrete the toxins from your skin.  Sit in the salt water for at least 30 minutes once a week.

Carrots are your best friend.  Carrots are an excellent source of vitamin C which is great for keeping your skin fresh, healthy and beautiful.  You can drink carrot juice or make a paste to rub on your marks.  Mix the carrot drink with some sea salt or sugar and massage into the skin, allow it to dry before you rinse.

These are just some helpful tips on how to help fade the marks you may have gotten from your pregnancy.  I don’t recommend using any over the counter stretch mark creams during your pregnancy other than simple vitamin E lotion or cocoa butter because there are chemicals in any stretch mark cream that can be harmful to your baby.  Give some of these a shot and take some before and after pictures and see if your marks improved.  My stretch marks definitely have faded after 4 months of using these remedies.  If you find that they are not fading and are still very prominent the best advice I can give is embrace them and own them.  You earned those tiger stripes and it is a beautiful memory of the bond you have with your baby.

Where Did I Put Those Darn Glasses?

Have you been feeling forgetful lately? Maybe you were looking for your glasses, while they were on your face?  Or you thought you lost your phone so you tried calling it with your phone.  Maybe, you even locked yourself in your car.  This is called pregnancy brain.  Some women experience a complete haze during their pregnancy and don’t really know why.  Our dear friend progesterone is acting up again causing this temporary forgetfulness.  

I can recall working at a restaurant where I normally was the hostess.  I filled in on a few  occasions for the bartender because I had my license and previously worked as a bartender.  I had filled in at least 5 times at this particular restaurant on fairly busy nights, no big deal.  One night towards the end of my working days and into my bed resting days I was asked again to fill in.  I was so flustered and overwhelmed that I forgot how to make some of the drinks that I could have made in my sleep prior.  A man came in and asked for a vodka gimlet, my mind was in such a cloud I could remember how to make it...one of the simplest drinks to make!  I was so overwhelmed and felt so foolish because I couldn’t remember something so simple.  This was just one instance that happened, but so many things occurred that caused my boss to come over and say “You’ve done this before, right?” I explained that it was the pregnancy and I was just so flustered.  No one told me anything like this was going to happen. Luckily the woman who normally bartended became a good friend of mine and recently had a baby.  She explained to me it was totally normal.

Having pregnancy brain can effect your everyday activities.  It did in my own experience and some of my girlfriends as well.  It was so embarrassing that I couldn’t remember things and found myself getting flustered in a job I once was great at.  For so many women, this is the case.  Pregnancy brain can have different effects on women from forgetting where you put your glasses to rendering you unable to perform your duties effectively at work.

There are a few factors that contribute to this pregnancy brain and it is thought that if you change some habits it will help.

Get sleep!

You must make sure you get the proper amount of rest.  I know this can be difficult when you are uncomfortable, sick or constantly having to wake up to run to the bathroom, but do your best to get sleep.  Even not pregnant it is hard to function without a good amount of rest.

Eat a good diet!

In previous posts I have discussed nutrition and how important it is for your baby to get in the right nutrients and vitamins.  It is equally as important for you! Certain foods can also benefit your memory even outside of pregnancy.  Blueberries have been proven through studies to improve any short term memory loss, so stock up on the berries!  Also, tomatoes which contain lycopene, an antioxidant, that is known to help with memory.  Be sure to get in your recommended daily allowance of zinc which is 11 mg during pregnancy.  This will benefit both you and your baby’s brain.  To see more on nutrition and what foods give you certain nutrients and what they are good for check out an earlier post by me, Nutrition Is The Key, http://helpmomstone.blogspot.com/2014/02/nutrition-is-key.html.

Exercise!

Do your best to get some kind of physical activity in during the day.  I know certain circumstances may prevent you from this but do your best, it will make a big difference.  Exercise will help keep circulation flowing, release endorphins, and decrease fatigue.  With the circulation going, endorphins flowing and not being so tired you will have an overall better mental health.

Drink as much as you can!

Get in as much fluid as you can to avoid dehydration.  The last thing you want is an upset in your electrolytes.  Any disturbance to electrolytes can cause some confusion and decrease memory.  Keep the fluids flowing.  If you find you can’t drink that much make sure what you can drink counts.  Try gatorade or vitamin water, anything with electrolytes.  One tip is if you are drinking gatorade or any sugary drinks that have electrolytes be careful and try to get low sugar drinks.

Take your prenatal vitamins!

Be sure you are taking your prenatals to be confident that your getting vitamins and minerals in for you and your baby.  

The upside to this is your mind will return to its original state a few months after giving birth.  You will find yourself still having this pregnancy brain after birth, but you have now graduated to new mommy brain.  Try and have a sense of humor about the whole thing because otherwise you will get incredibly frustrated.  Know it is completely normal and hang in there!

For Mommas and Daddies!

At the time of conception you are in the starring role, from the time your partner sees those little blue lines you have been cast as a supporting actor.  Your job essentially for the next 9 months and on is to be support for your partner and baby.  Through the pregnancy and delivery it is crucial for your partner to know she can count on you for whatever she needs.  You will come to find out that what she needs may be outrageous,  and at times impossible but these are the joys of pregnancy.

For us women we have the normal fears and anxiety that come with being pregnant and delivering a baby.  We forget that it is equally as terrifying for you daddies.  I know now, after talking to my husband after the birth, about all the anxiety and fear he had as well, but never wanted to talk about because, well...if he did I would have ripped his head off.   I wanted to write about this for moms and dads.  I want all you expecting moms to understand that your partner is just as scared, nervous, and excited as you are.  It can be difficult to communicate about it because of all the discomfort, nerves and anxiety you may be having.  My husband never wanted to stress me out more or worry me by talking to me about how he was feeling.  I do wish he had, but I can understand now why he didn’t.  I was a bundle of nerves, super uncomfortable, sick, and he didn’t want me to worry about him on top of everything else.  As for you daddy-to-bes, it is okay not to be “the manly man” all the time.  Sharing how you are feeling, and trust me you will have A BUNCH of feelings, is totally fine.  You don’t need to have it together 100% of the time.  It is so important to talk these things out and communicate to each other how you are feeling.

Not all men will feel the same emotions upon the arrival of the baby.  I can only speak from my own experience with my husband.  Some fears he had were: 

Will I be able to support and provide for my family financially?  Will I be able to support her emotionally during her pregnancy, delivery, and entering motherhood?  Will I be a good support during delivery?

So many expecting dads have financial concerns.  Speaking from my own situation, no matter how comfortable we are, my husband is always worried about the finances and if there will be enough.  Also, with needing to work more to have more income to compensate for my lack of because I am now a stay at home mom he is always worried about not being there enough for me emotionally and to help take care of the baby.

To put your mind at ease, financially, things always seem to work themselves out.  Somehow you get what you need when you need it.  For us, we have a strong belief in God and that helps up through every struggle.  That isn’t for everyone and it is important to depend on each other and communicate with each other.  As far as him feeling bad for working rather than staying home with us... I prefer it this way.  Being home with the baby is my “job” you could say, best job in the world, but a job nonetheless. I always reassure him that he is helping me by going to work and keeping the income going.

Will I be a good dad?

I am not sure if every dad has this fear or not, but all the expecting dads I have spoken to most certainly do.  This doesn’t apply to everyone, but in some cases an expecting dad who doesn’t have the best relationship with his dad may have concerns about being a good dad to his own kids.  I believe there is a little piece in everyone that has this fear,  not for that reason necessarily, but becoming a parent is a huge deal.  You have now become responsible for this little human.  My husband and I had the overwhelming feeling that we never wanted to let our kids down and this made me and my husband both scared of entering parenthood.  In my husband’s case this fear came from his own upbringing, he was worried about letting his kids down the same way he was let down by his own parents.  The best way to deal with these feelings is to face that head on and decide to change it.  Rather than continue the pattern, change it.

How will having a baby affect my relationship?

The reality is it no longer is you and your partner.  You have a new member of the family that requires so much love and nurturing and for a little while your relationship won’t be first and foremost; however, it is important to set aside some time to spend just you and your partner.  Having a date night maybe once a week will be so beneficial to your relationship.

Aside from communicating which is key in your relationship, there are some things you can do together.  Mommas it is crucial to help your partner feel included.  Since dads are not carrying the baby they do not have the immediate bond you have. Daddies, it is so important to be there for your partners since there’s a lot she is going through from physical to emotional changes.  Here are some things you can do together and really make sure you are both equally involved.

• Go to prenatal visits together.  I wish my husband could have come to my prenatal visits and ultrasounds.  He was working so much and I didn’t realize how important it was to share the experience.  I always told him not to worry about it but looking back I wish we could’ve shared the experience.
• Plan for the baby together.  Go with your partner to baby shop and start up your registry together.  My husband and I would go just window shop all the time to look at everything and get ideas for the nursery or just to bond and share the excitement.
• Let him put together the baby items.  After my husband and I moved into our new place, I wanted to surprise him by getting everything done one day while he was at work.  I put together all the baby items, excluding the crib, and had the house set up by the time he got home.  I thought I was doing something nice for him so he wouldn’t have to worry about it, and though I was and he was super appreciative, looking back I realize how important it is for the daddy to have their nesting by putting together all the baby items.  Make it fun! Baby gear is tricky, take out the video camera and have fun doing it together.
• Workout together during pregnancy.  Come up with a routine for the two of you to help you both stay healthy, happy and give you some time together.
• Set aside some time for the bump.  When you are both done with your days and relaxing, play some music for the baby and interact with him or her.  Sing, talk, touch.  The baby hears you and knows you are there.  Just because the baby is not out of the womb yet doesn’t mean he or she isn’t aware of what is going on.  Babies are awfully smart and start to know Mommy and Daddy while cooking in the oven.  We used to play games with the baby.  We would play music for him and wait for him to start kicking, once he was kicking we would tickle his feet and he would kick back, without fail.
• Plan the nursery together.  Prepare all the little details of the nursery together.  Pick out colors, decals, lamp shades, every detail.

Do your best to enjoy every moment and all that comes with it.  Pregnancy is not always joyous but keep every minute as a blessing.  Remember to be sensitive to each other.  You are both entering into the unknown and must work together to help each other get through.  Cherish the good times and embrace the difficult and use it to strengthen your relationship.  Remember, it goes fast, enjoy each day together, even when you are ready to strangle each other.

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Keep It Down!

I want to discuss pregnancy induced hypertension (PIH).  It is something that is not necessarily a main concern initially when you are going through your prenatal visits.  It becomes a greater issue typically in the third trimester.  Questions I have been asked recently because of my experience are, “What is gestational hypertension?” “What is pregnancy induced hypertension?” What is preeclampsia?” “How do you get it?” “How can I prevent it?” “How will I know if I have it?”  I am going to answer all these questions and then some.

Hypertension is high blood pressure.  Blood pressure is the pressure of blood pushing against blood vessel walls.  When the force of the blood is above normal (120/80) this is considered high blood pressure.  Pregnancy induced hypertension (PIH) is high blood pressure accompanied by headaches, swelling in the face, feet and hands and protein in your urine.  PIH is also called preeclampsia, and toxemia.

There are certain factors that make you more at risk for PIH.  Being under the age of 20 or over the age of 35, being underweight or overweight, a history of hypertension, a history of PIH, a mother, sister, aunt or grandmother with a history of PIH or hypertension, kidney disease, immune disorder, and expecting multiples are all reasons you may be at higher risk.

If you experience any of the following immediately call your doctor or midwife:

-Swelling in the face, feet and/or hands

-Severe headaches accompanied by spots, dizziness and changes in vision

-Reduced urination or blood in the urine

-Flank or abdominal pain

-Vomiting and nausea

-Decreased fetal movement

These are all symptoms of PIH.

When you go to your prenatal visits your doctor or midwife will most likely take a urine sample and be testing routinely to see if there is any protein in your urine.  At every visit they also will check your blood pressure and weight.  If you have rapid weight gain, a high blood pressure and protein in the urine your doctor will order further testing for you and the baby.  There is question of high blood pressure when the systolic (above number) is between 120 and 139 and the diastolic (below number) is between 80 and 89, this is considered prehypertension.  Sometimes “office anxiety” kicks in and you temporarily have a higher read so in some cases it is best to ask your doctor to do another reading.  I had to get mine read at the beginning and end of my doctor appointments.

If PIH begins to get worse the only cure is to deliver the baby.  I remember being admitted to the hospital at 34 weeks and I was given magnesium to prevent any seizures and medication for the blood pressure.  At this point doctors and midwives need to look and see if the benefits outweigh the risk of using medication.  Make sure you do not hesitate to call your doctor or midwife if you are experiencing any of the above symptoms.

Rise Above It

          About two weeks ago I was on Facebook and my husband and I are both friends with people from our childhood.  I stumbled upon a nasty status about pregnancy from someone who was thought to be a friend of ours.  Following this, I went on twitter, to see the same.  Nasty tweets about pregnancy from people who were thought to be our friends.  Every single day I get negativity directed at me because I am only 21 and have a baby.  If I had a nickel for how many times a day I see statuses posted about young mothers and how “wrong” it is, I would be a millionaire.  Not only is there negativity out in the world, but also in the home where it is supposed to be safe.  Families can be the most judgmental and cruel when needed the most.

           I want to write about this because I know how it feels to constantly have negativity thrown your way while trying to find the positives in a situation.  It is a taboo but the reality is, not everyone is thrilled when they find out they are pregnant because it is marred by all the negativity out there, even in families.  I can only speak about my own situation to let you know you are not alone.

When my husband and I found out we were pregnant the first time we were 19.  Naturally, it was not ideal.  In telling our families, mine was a bit upset at first.  Not because we were having a baby, but because good parents know how much having a baby changes your life.  They knew that our lives would be changed forever and they knew all the sacrifice and struggle it would take initially for us to get on your feet.  When we told his family, the response we got was very surface and followed by the statement, “I hope you can do it.”  By the time my family came around to us having a baby, we had a miscarriage.

Six months after our miscarriage, we found out we were pregnant again.  The history behind me and getting pregnant is, well, I should not have been able to, according to 7 different doctors.  After my miscarriage I was told I would not be able to have children and if I did it would be through a painful invasive process.  They were incredibly wrong because not only was I pregnant twice in one year, but somehow managed to rise above those things we like to call birth control.

Naturally we were nervous to tell our families because we had been down this road once before and some of the reactions we got were unsupportive, judgmental, and inconsiderate.  My family was incredibly helpful and supported us no matter what happened.  We weren’t so lucky to have the same from some of his family.  We went to a family party for his family where we were greeted with the statement, “You guys are going to have a big family because you don’t know how to use birth control.”  Not to get into details but such an unnecessary comment when you have no idea what you are talking about.  Birth control doesn’t always work...but I digress.  It was this kind of negativity that lasted through my pregnancy and still continues.

            I am telling you this because I found it so hard to move passed this negativity when even the family was a part of it.  People say to me all the time, “You are throwing your life away.”  At first I would actually question myself, and during the pregnancy I actually felt embarrassed about being seen because I am so young and felt like I had to justify myself.  For any other momma who feels this way you must know that what people say does not matter.  The biggest accomplishment in life is birthing a baby.  I look at it as an honor that I got to bring this gorgeous baby into the world and am blessed with the task of raising him.  

            Every baby is a blessing, no matter what the circumstances from the minute that baby’s heart starts beating you are blessed with caring for this little human.  It is truly one of the most remarkable things in this world.  We have enough things that are negative in this world.  You must take the positives and hold onto them.  No one can take this away from you.  Hold your head strong and be the best mom you can be for your little one.  I find when the negativity comes your way, silence is best because what those people have to say does not matter and you are doing something far greater than they can ever know.  If you were “fortunate” enough to have in-laws like I do, the best advice I can give, is rise above it.  Your family becomes you, your partner, and your new baby.  You owe no response to anyone, including family. 

           As a good friend of mine in a similar situation said, “You will learn, in time, that you don't need to defend yourself or justify your decisions to anyone. Just focus on your baby and make a life for yourself. People will always have something to say. Ignore them, unless their opinion is of value to you. I felt like I had to prove myself to everyone. Turns out the only one I needed to prove anything to was myself. All moms, regardless of their age, are just doing the best they can. There isn't any one "right" way to do things...including the order in which you go to school/get married/have babies. That being said, it doesn’t hurt to go big and prove everyone wrong anyway.”  She could not be more right.  Live your own life and enjoy your beautiful family.