25 Tips For Daddy

We all hear about and talk about the things you didn’t know as an expecting mom, but, what about the things you didn’t know as an expectant dad?  There can never be enough information to share about learning to be a parent.  You never truly get your masters in the field because your kids will keep you constantly learning.  When my husband and I were expecting we did not have a clue!  You will be experiencing a whole heap of firsts as you enter into daddyhood.  The most important rule, is to have fun! Life is tough enough...make every and any experience as fun as you possibly can for you and your partner and soak in every second.

That being said, there are some unexpected points it could be helpful for all you daddies to have in the back of your head.  My husband will be the first to tell y’all that nothing will truly prepare you for what’s in store...but every bit helps!

Let’s begin!

1. Add the baby to your health insurance ASAP.  Do it before the baby is born, do not wait until the last minute.  You will have roughly 30 days with the baby covered from the date of birth, but it is best to make sure that is in order.
2. While registering, be sure you and your partner are on the same page for what is necessary and what is unnecessary. Arguing with a pregnant woman in the middle of a baby store is never good.
3. Bottle warmers seem silly when you can just put the bottle in a bowl of hot water, but when your baby is screaming for milk, the last thing you want to do is wait 15 to 20 minutes for the bottle to warm up in a bowl of hot water.  Bottle warmers have the bottle at the perfect temperature in 3 minutes.  Invest. You will use this a great deal in the first couple of months.
4. You probably do not need a portable changing pad; however, invest in something that will fit in your diaper bag to change the baby on.  Getting poop on a beautiful rug at someone else’s house is very unpleasant. 
5. Baby proof your home prior to the baby being born.  Just 3 months ago I was saying how much time we had and now our son is crawling and attempting to walk... we had to invest in a DVD cabinet with doors because our baby’s favorite thing is to go over to the shelf and take all the DVDs off.  It goes by fast.
6. Amazon will be your best friend.  There will be so many things you will need and in bulk the best route...Amazon.
7. Get a baby swing.
8. Get a Jumperoo.
9. Get a walker.
10. Get an exersaucer.
11. Get a play yard.
12. Once your little one is born, you should come to terms with the fact that you will be wearing more bodily fluids from your baby than ever before, and you will be doing laundry like you have a household of 7 when it is just you, your sweetie, and your baby.
13. Don’t hold the baby when you are all dressed for work...especially of the baby has just been fed.  You will wear vomit well, and won’t care.
14. In your first week of changing your baby’s diaper you will get pooped on and peed on at least once.  For little boys, they have impeccable aim.  You could invest in a Pee Weeblock if you need some extra coverage.
15. Word to the wise...such a cute baby but nasty, nasty filled diapers!  You will spend a lot of time wondering how such an adorable little one can produce that.  Plug your nose.
16. You will not sleep.  Even if you start to fall asleep, chances are your partner or baby will be waking you up.  Do your best to get some shut eye when the baby is napping.
17. Share feedings with your partner.  Maybe you can alternate if the baby is not sleeping through the night.  If you baby is sleeping through the night, have one of you take night feeding and the other take morning feeding.  This way one of you can go to bed earlier and the other will get up earlier. This should help you each get a bit of sleep.
18. Deactivate your gym membership and invest in INSANITY or P90X.  My poor husband asks me all the time if he can go to the gym.  There is always so much to do by the time he gets home that it is too late by the time he is free to go.  Get a workout DVD and you can do it in your living room for 20 minutes, get a good workout and be there for your partner.
19. Make sure you have some good babysitters lined up.  You will need some one on one time, even if your partner isn’t ready, do all you can to push her while still being sensitive to her.
20. Learn the art of baby talk.  You will look and sound ridiculous, and will not care.
21. The first time your baby poops during a bath will be an experience.  Enjoy the laughter.
22. You may need a mini freezer for milk.  Not kidding.  Empty your freezer and make room for the breast milk that is about to take over.  Make sure you clearly label all the breast milk and possibly make a note of what you had to eat the day before and day of.  This way when your baby is spitting up and has gas all night, you will know why.
23. TAKE VIDEOS OF EVERYTHING! We are so lucky now to have our Iphone’s at hand and can quickly video those adorable moments.  They go by much to fast and you can’t get them back.
24. Don’t forget about your partner once the baby is here.  This goes both ways.  Mommas and Daddas need attention from each other, too.  Be patient with each other. Laugh together and cherish each moment.
25. Remember, this too shall pass.

Braxton Hicks Or The Real Deal

During pregnancy your body is doing so many things to prepare you for labor.  You made have heard of something called Braxton Hicks which is a big way for your body to prepare for labor.  A question among so many expecting women is, “What is the difference between Braxton Hicks and the real thing?”

Braxton Hicks contractions are “practice contractions” that you may be feeling during your third trimester.  Some women experience them as early as the second trimester.  Braxton Hicks are a tightening of the uterus that can last anywhere from 30 second to 2 minutes.  They are inconsistent and unpredictable.  There are a number of things that will cause Braxton Hicks contractions to happen.

What Braxton Hicks feels like:

• Tightening of the uterus
• Inconsistent
• Unpredictable
• Uncomfortable

Causes of Braxton Hicks:

• An active baby
• An active mommy
• Touching the bump
• Sexual Intercourse
• Dehydration

How to relieve Braxton Hicks:

• Drink some water - stay hydrated
• Change your position
• Lie on your opposite side
• Go for a walk
• Take a warm bath

Real contractions are consistent and will gain intensity as time goes by and being to get closer together.  They come in intervals that will last from 30 seconds to about a 1 minute.  Nothing will relieve real contractions, position changes, drinking water, none of the tricks will help.  Real contractions are a bit more painful than Braxton Hicks contractions.  They may be in your back as well as your abdomen.

When to call your doctor or midwife:

• You have contractions every 5 minutes consistently for 1 hour
• Increased pressure in your pelvis or vagina
• Contraction strength is immense (unable to walk or talk through them)
• Abdominal cramping
• Fluid leak
• Nausea/Vomiting/Diarrhea

If you are experiencing the above, you are most likely in real labor!

If you find that something is going on and you are unsure, call your doctor or midwife!  They can tell you if you are experiencing a false alarm or if you need to proceed to the hospital.

Theory Of In-home Induction

Towards the end of your pregnancy, you may be getting antsy, anxious, and ready for it to be over.  When nearing the due date, most women are willing to do anything and everything to get the baby out.  There are a slew of theories on ways that you can induce naturally at home.  Before I start on telling you those theories and why they may not be right, I want it to be clear that I am a firm believer that the baby will come when he or she is ready and there is not too much you can do to speed up that process.  Believe me, I know.  These are some of the theories out there and why they may not be the best idea.  That is not to say that there are not a few things you can do to help the process.

Castor Oil: It is an old theory that ingesting castor oil will bring on labor.  There is no sufficient evidence that this works.  It will; however, bring on horrible diarrhea because it is a laxative.  This is dangerous because it could dehydrate you.  It has a very unpleasant taste and could bring on vomiting, nausea and abdominal cramping as well as diarrhea.  Castor oil’s main purpose is stimulation of the bowels.  I promise you, it will act as a laxative.  It is believed that castor oil will stimulate the intestines which may also stimulate the uterus and cause contractions that may or may not result in active labor.  It is very dangerous to try this without consulting a doctor or midwife who is in support and monitoring you.  Does it really work? Some women swear by it, some women do it and are incredibly sick and still no baby.

Cohosh: This is also believed to start labor.  There is insufficient evidence that prove it will bring on labor.  If your body is not ready, it will not work. Like castor oil, cohosh will cause diarrhea, abdominal cramping and increased blood pressure.  You must know that when cohosh is taken in the later stages of your pregnancy it can cause heart problems to your unborn baby.  It is very dangerous to use this, supervised or unsupervised.  Discuss with your doctor or midwife if it is something you think you want to use and listen to their stand point on it.

Spicy Foods:  There is absolutely no evidence that spicy food will bring on labor.  The same idea applies to spicy food that is with laxatives.  The stimulation of the intestines may carry over to the uterus.  It is unlikely, and will cause bigger issues for you.  If you do end up going into labor on your own, do you really want an upset stomach on top of it?

There are a few things that can help slightly, but not make you go into labor.  These things are meant to help soften the cervix.  Softening the cervix makes it easier for the cervix to ripen, thus, progress in labor.

Sex:  It is said that sex can help you go into labor.  The truth behind this is it can help the process but will not bring on labor.  The part that you aren’t usually told is, it isn’t that act of having sex that helps.  You must have unprotected sex and your partner must ejaculate semen into the vagina allowing it to hit the cervix.  Semen contains ‘prostaglandins’ which is used for soften the cervix.  The softer the cervix, the easier it is to ripen.  Some women feel funny about having sex while pregnant especially towards the end, because your twosome is a threesome, but have no fear, your baby won’t be scarred for life.  It is perfectly safe (unless your doctor specifies otherwise) and will help in ripening the cervix.

Nipple Stimulation:  A combination of sex and nipple stimulation will help your body is preparing to go into labor.  Nipple stimulation will release the hormone Oxytocin.  Oxytocin is used in hospital inductions and is the hormone necessary to bring on contractions.

Evening Primrose Oil:  Like semen, evening primrose oil is great for softening the cervix.  The oil will help your body release prostaglandins helping the cervix soften.

In my own experience, towards the very end I tried, literally, all of the above, and then some.  All unpleasant, and none helped.  I wish I had the knowledge then about what doing some of these things could do and the risks.  When you search on the internet, most of the time you find the positive over the negative.  I found that so many women said these things worked for them so I figured I was so done with being so sick, why not?  It was not smart to try and induce on my own.  After going through it and making the mistakes, I can tell you, let your body do what it needs to do on it’s own.  If for whatever reason you need to be induced in a hospital setting, as I did, you are in good hands.  They are using medication that is safe for you and your baby in monitored doses.  I know how hard it is to be patient, especially when you are so sick you can’t take it anymore.  Be patient, let your body do what it needs to do.  If there is some reason you can’t, let your doctor or midwife decide the next step.

Inducing Labor

What is inducing labor? One of the many questions I had during my pregnancy and delivery.  I never thought my delivery would go as it did, but then, that is the point about “What To Expect When It Isn’t Expected”.  I can not tell you exactly how your experience will go with an induction, but I can answer some questions that I have been asked about my own.  If nothing else it gives you a bit more knowledge.

What is an induced labor?

An induced labor is when your labor doesn’t start or progress on it’s own and you need the help of outside medications or methods to give birth.  

Is induced labor a guarantee?

No, in some cases inducing labor does not work.  If the baby is not ready to grace you with his or her presence, then an induction most likely won’t work.  When I was going through my induction I was very fortunate that each step went beautifully and the total process took 12 hours.  The girl in the room next to mine, unfortunately, had been going through her induction for a week and it was not progressing.  They were inducing her because of gestational diabetes but it was not terribly urgent for her to deliver as it was in my situation.  The poor thing was walking the halls and doing whatever she could to help the process.  It is important to know that know matter what, if the baby is not ready, the baby will not come naturally.

When is your labor induced?

There are a number of reasons and pregnancy complications that would lead you to an induced labor.

• Having a pregnancy complication, such as, preeclampsia, gestational hypertension, gestational diabetes, or kidney disease.
• Broken water with no contractions.  If you water has broken and labor does not follow you and your baby could be at risk of infection.  If there is a suspicion of infection, further testing will be done and your doctor or midwife will decide what is best for you and your baby.
• Your baby has stopped growing at a proper weight or is very overgrown.  Any feeling that your baby is at risk will lead to an induction or c-section.
• A lack of amniotic fluid around the baby.
• A placenta abruption, deterioration to the placenta or an insufficient placenta.
• Hitting the 42 week mark and no baby will usually lead to an induction.  You will be offered the option but some women do not opt for an induction which is totally fine as long as you and your baby are safe.  Waiting longer than 42 weeks can increase the risk of stillbirth or other medical problems so it is best to listen to your doctor or midwife and trust them.

How will my labor be induced?

There are a few different methods and medicines used for a labor induction.  I won’t lie to you, it can cause a bit of discomfort, but if it is what is best for you and your baby, you do what needs to be done.  The goal in an induction is to ripen the cervix, which means to get your cervix softened, thinned out, and beginning to dilate, and to begin labor.  Some methods and medication used to induce are: 

Prostaglandins -- If you are being induced but your cervix is not ripe, you'll begin the induction by having medication containing prostaglandins inserted into the vagina by the doctor or midwife at the hospital. This medication helps to dilate you and thin out the cervix.

Foley catheter -- You may have a catheter placed in the cervix.  The catheter has a small balloon that is not yet inflated at the end of it and is placed into your cervix. The balloon is inflated with water to puts pressure on the cervix helping the release of prostaglandins, this will cause the cervix to dilate and thin. When the cervix has dilated to about 5 cm it will fall out and be removed.

Rupturing the membranes (Breaking your water)-- If you're at least 4 to 5 cm dilated, but not showing much sign of progression, your doctor or midwife can insert an instrument that looks like a crochet needle through the cervix to break your amniotic sac. This looks like it will hurt and be uncomfortable, but it really isn’t.  It is no worse than having a vaginal exam.

Pitocin -- This is given through an IV drip to get contractions going.  In an induction once you have reached the point where you go down to the delivery room an epidural will be given if you decide you want one and Pitocin will be given through your IV.  For women who’s water does break but there is no progression, Pitocin is also given.  When your water breaks, most doctors or midwifes will want to deliver within 12 to 24 hours because the risk of infection for you and your baby increases the longer you go with a ruptured membrane.  The amount of Pitocin is adjusted as you start progressing.  I don’t want to deceive you, Pitocin will make the contractions come on very strong and they are painful.  In labor that start on it’s own there is a build, with Pitocin and it is WHAM! you are in labor.

In my own experience, all of these methods and medications were used together.  I was admitted and had the foley catheter done and medication also inserted to help in ripening the cervix.  Within a few hours the catheter fell out and I was having very strong contractions.  I was given some morphine for the pain to ease the contractions.  By this time I was in “inactive labor” for a week now.  This means contractions but no progression, going in I was about 3 cm dilated.  After the dose of morphine wore off I was brought down to delivery, given an epidural and the Pitocin started.  Shortly after, my water was broken, and a few hours later it was time to push.  I was vey fortunate and had a very successful induction.  It is so important to relax to help your body do what it needs to and help your baby relax.

Under what circumstances should my labor NOT be induced?

• If there is an indication that the contractions would be too much for your baby then you will most likely be brought in for a c-section.  It depends on the test results.
• Placenta previa, which is when the placenta blocks the exit for the baby.
• Your baby is breech (head up, feet down).
• You previously had a c-section. 
• You have genital herpes.
• You are having multiples.

I hope this helps inform you a bit about what inducing labor is and the procedure.  It can be scary, but I have to say, don’t be.  Most things about pregnancy and childbirth are unknown.  Whatever you endure is for your baby.  If you have any stories of your experience, questions or comments feel free to contact me at helpingmommytone@gmail.com!

Gestational Diabetes

A few days ago a girlfriend of mine went to the doctors to take a dreaded test... the glucose tolerance test.  The glucose tolerance test is done around the 26th to 28th week of pregnancy.  If your doctor has reason, such as history of diabetes or pre pregnancy weight being very high, the test will be done prior to the 13th week and repeated at 28 weeks.  A glucose tolerance test is done to see if you have gestational diabetes.  Some people think that if you have diabetes you are overweight.  That is not necessarily the case.  She only weighs 138 pounds at almost 30 weeks gestation.  She was asking me a slew of questions because it wasn’t clearly explained to her through her doctor and her first test came back a bit high.  She wanted to know: What exactly is gestational diabetes? Will this hurt the baby? Am I going to have diabetes after pregnancy? Do I need insulin? How did I get this? Do I need to lose weight? Am I going to be able to deliver the baby naturally? Could the test have been wrong!  With all these questions being asked by her, I figured many other women would have the same questions.  I know I did when I was pregnant and I learned from extensive research through my studies and doctors.  

Gestational diabetes is high blood sugar levels during pregnancy.  It is tested by getting a blood draw, drinking a sugary, syrupy substance, then waiting an hour and getting more blood drawn.  The body absorbs the glucose very quickly which causes the blood glucose levels to raise within the hour you are waiting.  The blood is taken to measure how well the body has processed this overdose of glucose.  Every state has a different “norm” for the blood glucose level.  Some state say if your number comes back less than 140mg/dL form the 1 hour glucose screening you are in the clear.  Where we are, the blood glucose level is supposed to be less than 130mg/dL.  If in the event your number comes back high, chances are your doctor or midwife will order to have a 3 hour glucose screening done.  The 3 hour test is a bit more intolerable than the 1 hour.  You must fast from midnight to when the test is done, you get blood drawn at the fasting point to see what the levels are, then drink, wait an hour and blood gets drawn again, then do this 2 more times.  Your office will give you the exact instructions if you need to do this screening.

There is no EXACT cause for gestational diabetes, but it is known that the placenta, which is a source of your baby’s growth, does alter the way your body uses insulin when you have gestational diabetes.  If your body can not properly use and create insulin then it can lead to greater issues like hyperglycemia.  

Gestational diabetes can cause harm to your baby IF it is not properly monitored with intense cases. With gestational diabetes, any extra glucose will go through the placenta.  This will give the baby high blood glucose levels causing the baby to have extra insulin, more than necessary for their little bodies to grow, it will store as fat, leading to an overweight baby.

For most women, you will be put on a strict diet to keep your numbers down and all is good.  You may or may not end up going in for an induction do keep the baby from getting too big.  It depends on your doctor or midwife and what they feel is best.  More than not, all is fine and you will have your gorgeous healthy baby at the proper gestation.  So many women mistake induction for a c-section, they are different, and just because you may be induced does not mean you need to have a section.

I hope this answered some of your questions and helps to keep you informed!  Stay healthy, eat right, exercise and enjoy being pregnant! From this point on, it is over before you know it.

Push Present!

During pregnancy most of the gifts you receive are most likely for your baby.  What about the things for momma?  Of course your baby needs certain things but so don’t you mommas!  Through the pregnancy it is totally OK to give your partner a little something just because, or maybe it is mother’s day or christmas, whatever the occasion, there are so many wonderful ideas of gifts for your pregnant lady!  After 9 long months of carrying around this little human and then giving birth women definitely deserve a little something we like to call a “push present”.  Aside from the most amazing gift you receive when you finally get to meet the bundle of joy, your partner can absolutely give you some recognition with a little something.  Here are some ideas of gifts to give your expecting mommas during pregnancy and after delivery!

During Pregnancy:

Body pillows are always welcome!  While some women are super uncomfortable during pregnancy, body pillows will definitely be an amazing comfort.  Most women say it will get them through their pregnancy and is truly the only way to get any sleep.

Gowns for delivery.  Some of those hospital gowns can be super uncomfortable.  There are always people coming in and out examining things and adjusting things. With the way the hospital gowns are designed it makes it very difficult to get up and walk around without mooning the entire floor.  Luckily, there are some amazing gowns by a company called Pretty Pushers.  They make stylish gowns for mommas in labor and delivery.  They’ve thought of everything!  It is good to have access for the monitor, epidural and any other things you may be hooked up to.  Click here to see more styles by Pretty Pushers.

Coupon book.  I am one for coupon books.  Just because it is a gift does not mean you have to spend a fortune!  There are so many things your love may want or need during pregnancy and you could make a coupon book of all the things she may desire.  Foot rubs, back rubs, any rub really is so helpful during pregnancy!

A trip to the spa.  Even not pregnant, most women love a trip to the spa.  You could get your partner a fully paid day at the spa where she can get a prenatal massage, manicure and/or pedicure.  When you look good, you feel good.  We know how sometimes it is hard to really feel good while pregnant, this may be a good way to lift those spirits.

Clothes always cheer up a woman!  You could always get her something nice to wear and take her out for a nice night on the town.  Get dressed up and take her out to dinner and make her feel special!  Some great places you can find awesome and affordable maternity clothes are Pink Blush Maternity and Destination Maternity.  They have great clothes that will keep her comfortable and looking gorgeous.

Make a baby book about the pregnancy.  Keeping a baby book is something great that you and your partner should do along your journey.  You could make a baby book for your darlin that documents things you see along the way.  Pictures, ultrasounds, your point of view, anything really.  This is a sweet way to share with you partner.  I made my husband a book through Mixbook, this site was amazing and not terribly expensive.  It was shipped fast and looked wonderful.

Push Presents:

Jewelry is ALWAYS welcome!  Birthstone necklaces and rings are an adorable keepsake from the birth of your baby.  My husband got me a birthstone ring after the birth of our first baby.  It has the baby’s birthstone and mine.  Be careful not to get it too far in advance because you never know when the baby will decide to grace you with his or her presence.  Our baby was due in November, but decided that October 30th was a good day to arrive.  Luckily, he had a feeling and got the October birthstone.

Add ons are great.  With whatever gift you get, a little gift for the baby is great too.  A onesie that says “Push Present” on it would be too cute!

Charm Bracelets to keep on adding.  Charm bracelets are so great because you can continue yo add charms.  If you have more children you can add a charm for each child.

You can never go wrong with shoes or a handbag!  A nice pair of shoes and/or a really nice handbag are a sweet gift for when you two can finally go on a date again.  Don’t expect it to be right away, but it will be soon enough.

Don’t forget about daddy!  He has worked hard too through this pregnancy and delivery.  Definitely not as hard as you mommas, but dealing with those hormones and helping you along the way is stressful.  In the delivery room especially, you dads are worn out from stressing and trying to help your partner as best you can.  You can get get a bottle of alcohol to ease the entry into fatherhood.  After the 9 months of anxiety and hormones I am sure he is ready for a drink.  Make it fun and entertaining for him.

You've Been Marked!

So many things are happening to your body internally from the time you conceive.  Not only are there changes happening on the inside, but on the out as well.  In some women you will notice changes in your face, nose, lips, hair, and your skin.  The biggest change you will find is in your skin.  Some women are lucky enough to get stretch marks.

Stretch marks are when the elastic fibers under the skin’s surface break.  This results in purple or white lines that form on your body when your body is growing and your skin isn’t able to keep up.  Some people who gain weight in a short span of time may notice them.  In pregnancy, with your belly growing and your breasts growing if your skin doesn’t have enough elasticity to keep up with the growth you will see what is known as stretch marks.  You will most likely find them on your belly or breasts, but they can also form on your thighs, bum, lower back, and under arms.

When I was pregnant people kept telling me to rub cocoa butter all over my body to help prevent stretch marks.  The brutal reality is you can not prevent them.  It depends on the elasticity of your skin and genetics does play a part, if your mom had them you are at greater risk of getting them.  Though you can not prevent them, using lotions is certainly something you can do to keep them under control while you are expanding to make room for your little nugget.  Keeping the skin hydrated will help with the itchiness you may have from the skin stretching.  When you scratch the skin it will make the stretch marks worse.

The good news is after the pregnancy some of the stretch marks will eventually fade. They never really go away but they can fade to a faint line that blends more with the skin; however, there are some marks that remain front and center.  Since they can not be prevented, if you are lucky enough to get them, focus on helping them fade post pregnancy rather than trying to prevent them from happening.

Here are some ways to help stretch marks fade after the baby is born and improve your skins elasticity.

Massage the skin.  By massaging the skin with natural lubricants you will be helping the elasticity in your skin which will at the very least help in the color of the marks.  A few lubricants that are beneficial to use are:

• Almond Oil
• Alive Oil
• Aloe Vera
• Cocoa Butter
• Shea Butter
• Vitamin E Lotion

Drink plenty of water.  Water helps keep your skin healthy which should help your skin recuperate from the stress that it’s endured.

Exfoliate the skin.  By exfoliating the skin you will be getting rid of dead cells allowing the skin new skin to breath.  This will help with itchiness and will help the marks fade over time.  To avoid spending a ton of money on exfoliators that have a bunch of chemicals in them you can make some exfoliators at home.  Sugar is an excellent exfoliator and you can usually find it right in your kitchen.  If you add a bit of olive oil or almond oil and some lemon juice to the sugar you now have the paste-like substance you need to exfoliate.  When you shower gently massage this over the necessary areas for a couple of minutes and rinse it off.

Rub lemon over the trouble spots.  Cut a lemon in half and rub the lemon all over any trouble spots you find.  Lemon is an awesome way of rejuvenating your skin.  The acidity from the lemon helps fade any redness and helps repair the damaged skin.

Take a bath.  Not just any bath, add some sea salt to your tub of warm water.  The salt water will help excrete the toxins from your skin.  Sit in the salt water for at least 30 minutes once a week.

Carrots are your best friend.  Carrots are an excellent source of vitamin C which is great for keeping your skin fresh, healthy and beautiful.  You can drink carrot juice or make a paste to rub on your marks.  Mix the carrot drink with some sea salt or sugar and massage into the skin, allow it to dry before you rinse.

These are just some helpful tips on how to help fade the marks you may have gotten from your pregnancy.  I don’t recommend using any over the counter stretch mark creams during your pregnancy other than simple vitamin E lotion or cocoa butter because there are chemicals in any stretch mark cream that can be harmful to your baby.  Give some of these a shot and take some before and after pictures and see if your marks improved.  My stretch marks definitely have faded after 4 months of using these remedies.  If you find that they are not fading and are still very prominent the best advice I can give is embrace them and own them.  You earned those tiger stripes and it is a beautiful memory of the bond you have with your baby.

Where Did I Put Those Darn Glasses?

Have you been feeling forgetful lately? Maybe you were looking for your glasses, while they were on your face?  Or you thought you lost your phone so you tried calling it with your phone.  Maybe, you even locked yourself in your car.  This is called pregnancy brain.  Some women experience a complete haze during their pregnancy and don’t really know why.  Our dear friend progesterone is acting up again causing this temporary forgetfulness.  

I can recall working at a restaurant where I normally was the hostess.  I filled in on a few  occasions for the bartender because I had my license and previously worked as a bartender.  I had filled in at least 5 times at this particular restaurant on fairly busy nights, no big deal.  One night towards the end of my working days and into my bed resting days I was asked again to fill in.  I was so flustered and overwhelmed that I forgot how to make some of the drinks that I could have made in my sleep prior.  A man came in and asked for a vodka gimlet, my mind was in such a cloud I could remember how to make it...one of the simplest drinks to make!  I was so overwhelmed and felt so foolish because I couldn’t remember something so simple.  This was just one instance that happened, but so many things occurred that caused my boss to come over and say “You’ve done this before, right?” I explained that it was the pregnancy and I was just so flustered.  No one told me anything like this was going to happen. Luckily the woman who normally bartended became a good friend of mine and recently had a baby.  She explained to me it was totally normal.

Having pregnancy brain can effect your everyday activities.  It did in my own experience and some of my girlfriends as well.  It was so embarrassing that I couldn’t remember things and found myself getting flustered in a job I once was great at.  For so many women, this is the case.  Pregnancy brain can have different effects on women from forgetting where you put your glasses to rendering you unable to perform your duties effectively at work.

There are a few factors that contribute to this pregnancy brain and it is thought that if you change some habits it will help.

Get sleep!

You must make sure you get the proper amount of rest.  I know this can be difficult when you are uncomfortable, sick or constantly having to wake up to run to the bathroom, but do your best to get sleep.  Even not pregnant it is hard to function without a good amount of rest.

Eat a good diet!

In previous posts I have discussed nutrition and how important it is for your baby to get in the right nutrients and vitamins.  It is equally as important for you! Certain foods can also benefit your memory even outside of pregnancy.  Blueberries have been proven through studies to improve any short term memory loss, so stock up on the berries!  Also, tomatoes which contain lycopene, an antioxidant, that is known to help with memory.  Be sure to get in your recommended daily allowance of zinc which is 11 mg during pregnancy.  This will benefit both you and your baby’s brain.  To see more on nutrition and what foods give you certain nutrients and what they are good for check out an earlier post by me, Nutrition Is The Key, http://helpmomstone.blogspot.com/2014/02/nutrition-is-key.html.

Exercise!

Do your best to get some kind of physical activity in during the day.  I know certain circumstances may prevent you from this but do your best, it will make a big difference.  Exercise will help keep circulation flowing, release endorphins, and decrease fatigue.  With the circulation going, endorphins flowing and not being so tired you will have an overall better mental health.

Drink as much as you can!

Get in as much fluid as you can to avoid dehydration.  The last thing you want is an upset in your electrolytes.  Any disturbance to electrolytes can cause some confusion and decrease memory.  Keep the fluids flowing.  If you find you can’t drink that much make sure what you can drink counts.  Try gatorade or vitamin water, anything with electrolytes.  One tip is if you are drinking gatorade or any sugary drinks that have electrolytes be careful and try to get low sugar drinks.

Take your prenatal vitamins!

Be sure you are taking your prenatals to be confident that your getting vitamins and minerals in for you and your baby.  

The upside to this is your mind will return to its original state a few months after giving birth.  You will find yourself still having this pregnancy brain after birth, but you have now graduated to new mommy brain.  Try and have a sense of humor about the whole thing because otherwise you will get incredibly frustrated.  Know it is completely normal and hang in there!

For Mommas and Daddies!

At the time of conception you are in the starring role, from the time your partner sees those little blue lines you have been cast as a supporting actor.  Your job essentially for the next 9 months and on is to be support for your partner and baby.  Through the pregnancy and delivery it is crucial for your partner to know she can count on you for whatever she needs.  You will come to find out that what she needs may be outrageous,  and at times impossible but these are the joys of pregnancy.

For us women we have the normal fears and anxiety that come with being pregnant and delivering a baby.  We forget that it is equally as terrifying for you daddies.  I know now, after talking to my husband after the birth, about all the anxiety and fear he had as well, but never wanted to talk about because, well...if he did I would have ripped his head off.   I wanted to write about this for moms and dads.  I want all you expecting moms to understand that your partner is just as scared, nervous, and excited as you are.  It can be difficult to communicate about it because of all the discomfort, nerves and anxiety you may be having.  My husband never wanted to stress me out more or worry me by talking to me about how he was feeling.  I do wish he had, but I can understand now why he didn’t.  I was a bundle of nerves, super uncomfortable, sick, and he didn’t want me to worry about him on top of everything else.  As for you daddy-to-bes, it is okay not to be “the manly man” all the time.  Sharing how you are feeling, and trust me you will have A BUNCH of feelings, is totally fine.  You don’t need to have it together 100% of the time.  It is so important to talk these things out and communicate to each other how you are feeling.

Not all men will feel the same emotions upon the arrival of the baby.  I can only speak from my own experience with my husband.  Some fears he had were: 

Will I be able to support and provide for my family financially?  Will I be able to support her emotionally during her pregnancy, delivery, and entering motherhood?  Will I be a good support during delivery?

So many expecting dads have financial concerns.  Speaking from my own situation, no matter how comfortable we are, my husband is always worried about the finances and if there will be enough.  Also, with needing to work more to have more income to compensate for my lack of because I am now a stay at home mom he is always worried about not being there enough for me emotionally and to help take care of the baby.

To put your mind at ease, financially, things always seem to work themselves out.  Somehow you get what you need when you need it.  For us, we have a strong belief in God and that helps up through every struggle.  That isn’t for everyone and it is important to depend on each other and communicate with each other.  As far as him feeling bad for working rather than staying home with us... I prefer it this way.  Being home with the baby is my “job” you could say, best job in the world, but a job nonetheless. I always reassure him that he is helping me by going to work and keeping the income going.

Will I be a good dad?

I am not sure if every dad has this fear or not, but all the expecting dads I have spoken to most certainly do.  This doesn’t apply to everyone, but in some cases an expecting dad who doesn’t have the best relationship with his dad may have concerns about being a good dad to his own kids.  I believe there is a little piece in everyone that has this fear,  not for that reason necessarily, but becoming a parent is a huge deal.  You have now become responsible for this little human.  My husband and I had the overwhelming feeling that we never wanted to let our kids down and this made me and my husband both scared of entering parenthood.  In my husband’s case this fear came from his own upbringing, he was worried about letting his kids down the same way he was let down by his own parents.  The best way to deal with these feelings is to face that head on and decide to change it.  Rather than continue the pattern, change it.

How will having a baby affect my relationship?

The reality is it no longer is you and your partner.  You have a new member of the family that requires so much love and nurturing and for a little while your relationship won’t be first and foremost; however, it is important to set aside some time to spend just you and your partner.  Having a date night maybe once a week will be so beneficial to your relationship.

Aside from communicating which is key in your relationship, there are some things you can do together.  Mommas it is crucial to help your partner feel included.  Since dads are not carrying the baby they do not have the immediate bond you have. Daddies, it is so important to be there for your partners since there’s a lot she is going through from physical to emotional changes.  Here are some things you can do together and really make sure you are both equally involved.

• Go to prenatal visits together.  I wish my husband could have come to my prenatal visits and ultrasounds.  He was working so much and I didn’t realize how important it was to share the experience.  I always told him not to worry about it but looking back I wish we could’ve shared the experience.
• Plan for the baby together.  Go with your partner to baby shop and start up your registry together.  My husband and I would go just window shop all the time to look at everything and get ideas for the nursery or just to bond and share the excitement.
• Let him put together the baby items.  After my husband and I moved into our new place, I wanted to surprise him by getting everything done one day while he was at work.  I put together all the baby items, excluding the crib, and had the house set up by the time he got home.  I thought I was doing something nice for him so he wouldn’t have to worry about it, and though I was and he was super appreciative, looking back I realize how important it is for the daddy to have their nesting by putting together all the baby items.  Make it fun! Baby gear is tricky, take out the video camera and have fun doing it together.
• Workout together during pregnancy.  Come up with a routine for the two of you to help you both stay healthy, happy and give you some time together.
• Set aside some time for the bump.  When you are both done with your days and relaxing, play some music for the baby and interact with him or her.  Sing, talk, touch.  The baby hears you and knows you are there.  Just because the baby is not out of the womb yet doesn’t mean he or she isn’t aware of what is going on.  Babies are awfully smart and start to know Mommy and Daddy while cooking in the oven.  We used to play games with the baby.  We would play music for him and wait for him to start kicking, once he was kicking we would tickle his feet and he would kick back, without fail.
• Plan the nursery together.  Prepare all the little details of the nursery together.  Pick out colors, decals, lamp shades, every detail.

Do your best to enjoy every moment and all that comes with it.  Pregnancy is not always joyous but keep every minute as a blessing.  Remember to be sensitive to each other.  You are both entering into the unknown and must work together to help each other get through.  Cherish the good times and embrace the difficult and use it to strengthen your relationship.  Remember, it goes fast, enjoy each day together, even when you are ready to strangle each other.

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Keep It Down!

I want to discuss pregnancy induced hypertension (PIH).  It is something that is not necessarily a main concern initially when you are going through your prenatal visits.  It becomes a greater issue typically in the third trimester.  Questions I have been asked recently because of my experience are, “What is gestational hypertension?” “What is pregnancy induced hypertension?” What is preeclampsia?” “How do you get it?” “How can I prevent it?” “How will I know if I have it?”  I am going to answer all these questions and then some.

Hypertension is high blood pressure.  Blood pressure is the pressure of blood pushing against blood vessel walls.  When the force of the blood is above normal (120/80) this is considered high blood pressure.  Pregnancy induced hypertension (PIH) is high blood pressure accompanied by headaches, swelling in the face, feet and hands and protein in your urine.  PIH is also called preeclampsia, and toxemia.

There are certain factors that make you more at risk for PIH.  Being under the age of 20 or over the age of 35, being underweight or overweight, a history of hypertension, a history of PIH, a mother, sister, aunt or grandmother with a history of PIH or hypertension, kidney disease, immune disorder, and expecting multiples are all reasons you may be at higher risk.

If you experience any of the following immediately call your doctor or midwife:

-Swelling in the face, feet and/or hands

-Severe headaches accompanied by spots, dizziness and changes in vision

-Reduced urination or blood in the urine

-Flank or abdominal pain

-Vomiting and nausea

-Decreased fetal movement

These are all symptoms of PIH.

When you go to your prenatal visits your doctor or midwife will most likely take a urine sample and be testing routinely to see if there is any protein in your urine.  At every visit they also will check your blood pressure and weight.  If you have rapid weight gain, a high blood pressure and protein in the urine your doctor will order further testing for you and the baby.  There is question of high blood pressure when the systolic (above number) is between 120 and 139 and the diastolic (below number) is between 80 and 89, this is considered prehypertension.  Sometimes “office anxiety” kicks in and you temporarily have a higher read so in some cases it is best to ask your doctor to do another reading.  I had to get mine read at the beginning and end of my doctor appointments.

If PIH begins to get worse the only cure is to deliver the baby.  I remember being admitted to the hospital at 34 weeks and I was given magnesium to prevent any seizures and medication for the blood pressure.  At this point doctors and midwives need to look and see if the benefits outweigh the risk of using medication.  Make sure you do not hesitate to call your doctor or midwife if you are experiencing any of the above symptoms.

Sweet Dreams!

I found that for majority of my pregnancy I did not get much sleep.  Whether I was running to pee in the middle of the night or puke, or just uncomfortable I got maybe 3 hours of sleep a day.  When preparing for such a huge task your body should certainly be well rested.  I remember asking my doctor why I was unable to sleep, if there was an actual reason hormonally.  She told me that it was my bodies way of preparing me for what it would be like when the baby arrived...zero sleep.  Though partially true, also partially false.  You don’t know what your baby will be like once they are here.  For me, I was fortunate enough to have a good sleeper, he has slept great since the day we brought him home from the hospital.  Since the baby is sleeping 12 hours a night and 2 naps during the day, why would I need to be prepared for no sleep?

          I later learned through my studies that the hormonal changes in your body are the biggest reason for the lack of sleep.  The little dickens estrogen is the culprit, along with many other factors like the bulging human in your belly.  Any hormonal shift will cause insomnia.  Along with the hormonal changes, there are many physical changes taking place that are causing quite a bit of discomfort.  Some pregnant women experience leg cramps, difficulty breathing due to the baby’s positioning, frequent urination, constant vomiting, back pain, vivid dreaming (nightmares), anxiety about delivery, and a baby who decides it is time to play in the middle of the night.  These are all super normal with pregnancy but does make getting sleep a bit more difficult.  Not to mention, your partner is probably sleeping like a baby and snoring away, also keeping you awake.

          Some ways of coping with this insomnia are: 

• Exercise if possible.  If you and your doctor or midwife feel all is well and you are able to continue your daily routine, exercise is a great tool to help you sleep.  Exercise is great to relax you if you are dealing with any anxiety.
• Try not to nap a whole lot during the day.  I know how difficult this is because of the pregnancy fatigue but you will sleep much better if you avoid that mid day nap.
• Sleep where it is most comfortable for you.  Some women prefer the couch to their bed.  Whatever makes you most comfortable is key.
• Invest in a body pillow.  They are sold at at Wal-Mart, Target, most baby stores.  Shop around.  It will truly be a life saver.  It is so hard to get comfy at times and a body pillow will help relieve some aches and discomfort.
• Do your best to steer clear of caffeine.  I know for you coffee drinkers this one may be difficult, but do your best.
• Avoid drinking large amounts of liquid a few hours before bed.  Pregnancy is known for making you do laps to the bathroom so you want to do your best to limit what you have so you don’t need to go as much in the middle of the night.
• Find soothing sounds that you can play for you and your baby.  If nothing else is will help you relax and give your baby something nice to listen to for a bit.

          Hopefully some of these things will help you find some relief and understand why you aren’t sleeping.  Your baby will not be affected by your lack of sleep.  The baby sleeps independent of you.  It is totally normal but if you are feeling unsettles about it contact your doctor or midwife.

Rest Up Momma!

          There are many women that experience bed rest during pregnancy whether for a week or 3 months.  I was one of the “lucky ducklings” that was put on bed rest.  I had a few mommas e-mail me questions about my experience and if I found bed rest really helped.  I am going to start off by telling you that though I was prescribed bed rest, I did take occasional breaks.  Majority of the time I was not up and about, whether laying or sitting I was resting, but I would go for ride in the car just to get out and get some fresh air.  Research has not shown enough evidence that bed rest is beneficial for you and your baby; however, there isn’t research enough to prove that is isn’t.  Due to my experience with bed rest and my medical background, I just want to educate you a bit on bed rest.  I know so many expecting moms are faced with this and my hope is to let you know some pros, cons, risks, and benefits.

          Bed rest may be prescribed for the following reasons:
Pregnancy Induced Hypertension/Preeclampsia/Toxemia - For these conditions the only real cure is delivery.  I experience preeclampsia myself and thankfully had reached 37 weeks and was able to deliver.  If you have not reached the 37 week mark a doctor or midwife may prescribe bedrest so they can keep close watch on you.
Placenta Complications:
-Placenta Previa - When a woman has placenta previa this means the placenta has blocked the cervix not allowing the baby to exit.  Placenta previa can correct itself in some cases, but women may be put on bed rest to keep the pressure off the placenta and cervix.
-Placenta Abruption - This is when the placenta begins to separate form the uterine wall prior to delivery.
Cervical Insufficiency -  Cervical insufficiency means your cervix has begun dilating and effacing before your baby is full term and ready for delivery. With this condition there are no normally no symptoms.  Bed rest takes the pressure of your growing baby off the cervix.
Preterm Labor - If you are in preterm labor your body is ready to deliver the baby before the baby has reached full term.  There are many factors that can increase your risk of preterm labor such as:
-Smoking
-Alcohol Abuse
-Drug Abuse
-Health Conditions- preeclampsia, gestational diabetes, infections, blood clotting disorders
-History of preterm labor
-Having twins or multiple babies
-In vitro pregnancy
If you begin to experience contractions that are 10 minutes apart consistently, backache, increased vaginal pressure, cramping, gush of fluid, or any bleeding call your doctor or midwife because these are possible signs of preterm labor.

          By reducing activity and being put on bed rest there is a hope that the risk of preterm delivery or pregnancy complications will be reduced.  There are risks that can develop while on bed rest such as: blood clots, depression, anxiety, decreased birth-weight of your baby, difficulty delivering due to weakened bones and muscles, and slower recovery after birth.

          If you are prescribed bed rest you want to make sure you are getting a full explanation of what bed rest means to your doctor.  There are different degrees of bed rest so make sure you are asking the appropriate questions to be sure you are getting the proper information.  To keep yourself in the know here are some good questions you could ask your doctor or midwife.  What reasons are you recommending bed rest?  What degree of bed rest is appropriate?  What are the benefits for my baby and me? Do the benefits outweigh the risks?  What are some potential issues from bed rest for my baby and for me?  How long will I be on bed rest?  Can I do normal household chores? Can I take care of my other kids?  Is it best to lie on one side over the other?  Is it alright to continue sexual activity? If so, are certain positions safer than others?  If you don’t feel your questions have been answered to your satisfaction or feel uneasy it can not hurt to get a second opinion.

          Some research has shown that resuming your everyday activity to a lesser degree would be more beneficial for you than strict bed rest.  As I said before there are different degrees of bed rest.  Bed rest for a few hours a day while still resuming other activities to a lesser degree, bed rest which confines you to only activity in the home, and bed rest which means you are in bed only.  It is up to you and your doctor or midwife but make sure you feel comfortable with the decisions made.

           If you are prescribed bedrest and are limited to little or no activity it can be extremely difficult mentally.  It is important to give yourself some ways to pass the time productively, otherwise you will go insane.  I found myself going nuts throughout the day because I was alone and unable to drive or do anything.  Thank God for candy crush!  Have some friends come over and keep you company, even if just for an hour to watch a movie, it will make a big difference.  Use the time to bond with your baby, play music for him or her and talk to your baby, he or she can hear everything and is getting to know you.  Take the time to learn a new hobby like knitting.  Keep a journal of all your experiences, when the baby moves, how the baby reacts to certain things.

In my own experience I found bed rest to be both helpful but also not.  As I said before it is what you and your doctor or midwife decide and what is best for you and your baby.  I hope this helped educate you a bit about bed rest.  If you have any questions please feel free to contact me at helpingmommytone@gmail.com.