Inducing Labor

What is inducing labor? One of the many questions I had during my pregnancy and delivery.  I never thought my delivery would go as it did, but then, that is the point about “What To Expect When It Isn’t Expected”.  I can not tell you exactly how your experience will go with an induction, but I can answer some questions that I have been asked about my own.  If nothing else it gives you a bit more knowledge.

What is an induced labor?

An induced labor is when your labor doesn’t start or progress on it’s own and you need the help of outside medications or methods to give birth.  

Is induced labor a guarantee?

No, in some cases inducing labor does not work.  If the baby is not ready to grace you with his or her presence, then an induction most likely won’t work.  When I was going through my induction I was very fortunate that each step went beautifully and the total process took 12 hours.  The girl in the room next to mine, unfortunately, had been going through her induction for a week and it was not progressing.  They were inducing her because of gestational diabetes but it was not terribly urgent for her to deliver as it was in my situation.  The poor thing was walking the halls and doing whatever she could to help the process.  It is important to know that know matter what, if the baby is not ready, the baby will not come naturally.

When is your labor induced?

There are a number of reasons and pregnancy complications that would lead you to an induced labor.

• Having a pregnancy complication, such as, preeclampsia, gestational hypertension, gestational diabetes, or kidney disease.
• Broken water with no contractions.  If you water has broken and labor does not follow you and your baby could be at risk of infection.  If there is a suspicion of infection, further testing will be done and your doctor or midwife will decide what is best for you and your baby.
• Your baby has stopped growing at a proper weight or is very overgrown.  Any feeling that your baby is at risk will lead to an induction or c-section.
• A lack of amniotic fluid around the baby.
• A placenta abruption, deterioration to the placenta or an insufficient placenta.
• Hitting the 42 week mark and no baby will usually lead to an induction.  You will be offered the option but some women do not opt for an induction which is totally fine as long as you and your baby are safe.  Waiting longer than 42 weeks can increase the risk of stillbirth or other medical problems so it is best to listen to your doctor or midwife and trust them.

How will my labor be induced?

There are a few different methods and medicines used for a labor induction.  I won’t lie to you, it can cause a bit of discomfort, but if it is what is best for you and your baby, you do what needs to be done.  The goal in an induction is to ripen the cervix, which means to get your cervix softened, thinned out, and beginning to dilate, and to begin labor.  Some methods and medication used to induce are: 

Prostaglandins -- If you are being induced but your cervix is not ripe, you'll begin the induction by having medication containing prostaglandins inserted into the vagina by the doctor or midwife at the hospital. This medication helps to dilate you and thin out the cervix.

Foley catheter -- You may have a catheter placed in the cervix.  The catheter has a small balloon that is not yet inflated at the end of it and is placed into your cervix. The balloon is inflated with water to puts pressure on the cervix helping the release of prostaglandins, this will cause the cervix to dilate and thin. When the cervix has dilated to about 5 cm it will fall out and be removed.

Rupturing the membranes (Breaking your water)-- If you're at least 4 to 5 cm dilated, but not showing much sign of progression, your doctor or midwife can insert an instrument that looks like a crochet needle through the cervix to break your amniotic sac. This looks like it will hurt and be uncomfortable, but it really isn’t.  It is no worse than having a vaginal exam.

Pitocin -- This is given through an IV drip to get contractions going.  In an induction once you have reached the point where you go down to the delivery room an epidural will be given if you decide you want one and Pitocin will be given through your IV.  For women who’s water does break but there is no progression, Pitocin is also given.  When your water breaks, most doctors or midwifes will want to deliver within 12 to 24 hours because the risk of infection for you and your baby increases the longer you go with a ruptured membrane.  The amount of Pitocin is adjusted as you start progressing.  I don’t want to deceive you, Pitocin will make the contractions come on very strong and they are painful.  In labor that start on it’s own there is a build, with Pitocin and it is WHAM! you are in labor.

In my own experience, all of these methods and medications were used together.  I was admitted and had the foley catheter done and medication also inserted to help in ripening the cervix.  Within a few hours the catheter fell out and I was having very strong contractions.  I was given some morphine for the pain to ease the contractions.  By this time I was in “inactive labor” for a week now.  This means contractions but no progression, going in I was about 3 cm dilated.  After the dose of morphine wore off I was brought down to delivery, given an epidural and the Pitocin started.  Shortly after, my water was broken, and a few hours later it was time to push.  I was vey fortunate and had a very successful induction.  It is so important to relax to help your body do what it needs to and help your baby relax.

Under what circumstances should my labor NOT be induced?

• If there is an indication that the contractions would be too much for your baby then you will most likely be brought in for a c-section.  It depends on the test results.
• Placenta previa, which is when the placenta blocks the exit for the baby.
• Your baby is breech (head up, feet down).
• You previously had a c-section. 
• You have genital herpes.
• You are having multiples.

I hope this helps inform you a bit about what inducing labor is and the procedure.  It can be scary, but I have to say, don’t be.  Most things about pregnancy and childbirth are unknown.  Whatever you endure is for your baby.  If you have any stories of your experience, questions or comments feel free to contact me at helpingmommytone@gmail.com!

Gestational Diabetes

A few days ago a girlfriend of mine went to the doctors to take a dreaded test... the glucose tolerance test.  The glucose tolerance test is done around the 26th to 28th week of pregnancy.  If your doctor has reason, such as history of diabetes or pre pregnancy weight being very high, the test will be done prior to the 13th week and repeated at 28 weeks.  A glucose tolerance test is done to see if you have gestational diabetes.  Some people think that if you have diabetes you are overweight.  That is not necessarily the case.  She only weighs 138 pounds at almost 30 weeks gestation.  She was asking me a slew of questions because it wasn’t clearly explained to her through her doctor and her first test came back a bit high.  She wanted to know: What exactly is gestational diabetes? Will this hurt the baby? Am I going to have diabetes after pregnancy? Do I need insulin? How did I get this? Do I need to lose weight? Am I going to be able to deliver the baby naturally? Could the test have been wrong!  With all these questions being asked by her, I figured many other women would have the same questions.  I know I did when I was pregnant and I learned from extensive research through my studies and doctors.  

Gestational diabetes is high blood sugar levels during pregnancy.  It is tested by getting a blood draw, drinking a sugary, syrupy substance, then waiting an hour and getting more blood drawn.  The body absorbs the glucose very quickly which causes the blood glucose levels to raise within the hour you are waiting.  The blood is taken to measure how well the body has processed this overdose of glucose.  Every state has a different “norm” for the blood glucose level.  Some state say if your number comes back less than 140mg/dL form the 1 hour glucose screening you are in the clear.  Where we are, the blood glucose level is supposed to be less than 130mg/dL.  If in the event your number comes back high, chances are your doctor or midwife will order to have a 3 hour glucose screening done.  The 3 hour test is a bit more intolerable than the 1 hour.  You must fast from midnight to when the test is done, you get blood drawn at the fasting point to see what the levels are, then drink, wait an hour and blood gets drawn again, then do this 2 more times.  Your office will give you the exact instructions if you need to do this screening.

There is no EXACT cause for gestational diabetes, but it is known that the placenta, which is a source of your baby’s growth, does alter the way your body uses insulin when you have gestational diabetes.  If your body can not properly use and create insulin then it can lead to greater issues like hyperglycemia.  

Gestational diabetes can cause harm to your baby IF it is not properly monitored with intense cases. With gestational diabetes, any extra glucose will go through the placenta.  This will give the baby high blood glucose levels causing the baby to have extra insulin, more than necessary for their little bodies to grow, it will store as fat, leading to an overweight baby.

For most women, you will be put on a strict diet to keep your numbers down and all is good.  You may or may not end up going in for an induction do keep the baby from getting too big.  It depends on your doctor or midwife and what they feel is best.  More than not, all is fine and you will have your gorgeous healthy baby at the proper gestation.  So many women mistake induction for a c-section, they are different, and just because you may be induced does not mean you need to have a section.

I hope this answered some of your questions and helps to keep you informed!  Stay healthy, eat right, exercise and enjoy being pregnant! From this point on, it is over before you know it.

Push Present!

During pregnancy most of the gifts you receive are most likely for your baby.  What about the things for momma?  Of course your baby needs certain things but so don’t you mommas!  Through the pregnancy it is totally OK to give your partner a little something just because, or maybe it is mother’s day or christmas, whatever the occasion, there are so many wonderful ideas of gifts for your pregnant lady!  After 9 long months of carrying around this little human and then giving birth women definitely deserve a little something we like to call a “push present”.  Aside from the most amazing gift you receive when you finally get to meet the bundle of joy, your partner can absolutely give you some recognition with a little something.  Here are some ideas of gifts to give your expecting mommas during pregnancy and after delivery!

During Pregnancy:

Body pillows are always welcome!  While some women are super uncomfortable during pregnancy, body pillows will definitely be an amazing comfort.  Most women say it will get them through their pregnancy and is truly the only way to get any sleep.

Gowns for delivery.  Some of those hospital gowns can be super uncomfortable.  There are always people coming in and out examining things and adjusting things. With the way the hospital gowns are designed it makes it very difficult to get up and walk around without mooning the entire floor.  Luckily, there are some amazing gowns by a company called Pretty Pushers.  They make stylish gowns for mommas in labor and delivery.  They’ve thought of everything!  It is good to have access for the monitor, epidural and any other things you may be hooked up to.  Click here to see more styles by Pretty Pushers.

Coupon book.  I am one for coupon books.  Just because it is a gift does not mean you have to spend a fortune!  There are so many things your love may want or need during pregnancy and you could make a coupon book of all the things she may desire.  Foot rubs, back rubs, any rub really is so helpful during pregnancy!

A trip to the spa.  Even not pregnant, most women love a trip to the spa.  You could get your partner a fully paid day at the spa where she can get a prenatal massage, manicure and/or pedicure.  When you look good, you feel good.  We know how sometimes it is hard to really feel good while pregnant, this may be a good way to lift those spirits.

Clothes always cheer up a woman!  You could always get her something nice to wear and take her out for a nice night on the town.  Get dressed up and take her out to dinner and make her feel special!  Some great places you can find awesome and affordable maternity clothes are Pink Blush Maternity and Destination Maternity.  They have great clothes that will keep her comfortable and looking gorgeous.

Make a baby book about the pregnancy.  Keeping a baby book is something great that you and your partner should do along your journey.  You could make a baby book for your darlin that documents things you see along the way.  Pictures, ultrasounds, your point of view, anything really.  This is a sweet way to share with you partner.  I made my husband a book through Mixbook, this site was amazing and not terribly expensive.  It was shipped fast and looked wonderful.

Push Presents:

Jewelry is ALWAYS welcome!  Birthstone necklaces and rings are an adorable keepsake from the birth of your baby.  My husband got me a birthstone ring after the birth of our first baby.  It has the baby’s birthstone and mine.  Be careful not to get it too far in advance because you never know when the baby will decide to grace you with his or her presence.  Our baby was due in November, but decided that October 30th was a good day to arrive.  Luckily, he had a feeling and got the October birthstone.

Add ons are great.  With whatever gift you get, a little gift for the baby is great too.  A onesie that says “Push Present” on it would be too cute!

Charm Bracelets to keep on adding.  Charm bracelets are so great because you can continue yo add charms.  If you have more children you can add a charm for each child.

You can never go wrong with shoes or a handbag!  A nice pair of shoes and/or a really nice handbag are a sweet gift for when you two can finally go on a date again.  Don’t expect it to be right away, but it will be soon enough.

Don’t forget about daddy!  He has worked hard too through this pregnancy and delivery.  Definitely not as hard as you mommas, but dealing with those hormones and helping you along the way is stressful.  In the delivery room especially, you dads are worn out from stressing and trying to help your partner as best you can.  You can get get a bottle of alcohol to ease the entry into fatherhood.  After the 9 months of anxiety and hormones I am sure he is ready for a drink.  Make it fun and entertaining for him.

For The Birthday!

Leading up to the big day when you get to meet your little one there is so much to do.  One of the biggest things I never felt confident about was what to pack in my hospital bag.  I felt like I was forgetting something even when I was overpacked.  It turned out I didn’t end up needing my hospital bag because I was induced on the spot.  I want to give you some tips and necessities for the birthday.

• Get your car seat installed!
  My husband and I thought we had tons of time to get the car seat installed because our son was not actually due until 3 weeks after we had him.  Because we were not expecting to have him the day we did the car seat was not installed.  My husband had to go get the car seat and get it installed at the hospital.  Unfortunately, between the time he brought the car seat, came up to make sure I was okay and went back down to install it...someone had broken his back window with a bat and stole the car seat.  This completely put a damper on the big day of bringing home our baby.  Get it installed, it is never too early.

• Keep the tank full.
  Also something my husband and I forgot to do.  Luckily for us the hospital was only 6 minutes away, but for those who have a ways to go make sure you keep your gas tank full because you never know when you will be taking that midnight trip to the hospital.

• Pack the bag.
  Get your hospital bag and diaper bags packed so it is one less thing to worry about.  There are some essentials for the hospital but a lot of things you don’t actually need.  I, being a first time mom, packed everything short of the crib.  As I said, I didn’t even end up having a hospital bag because everything happened so fast.  I really didn’t need anything because the most important things were supplied at the hospital.  To keep you comfortable there are a few things that are good to have.  Most women, like myself, overly pack so here is a checklist of the things most important to bring.
• Picture ID (license or passport)
•  Insurance information
•  Birth plan if you and your doctor or midwife have one
•  Glasses if you wear contacts normally
•  Phone chargers
•  Cash -- if your hospital charges for parking or your partner gets hungry and needs a snack
•  Gowns for labor if you aren’t comfortable with the hospital gowns, especially if you are walking the halls in early labor, you don’t want to be mooning the whole hospital.  Check out Pretty Pushers Gowns they have adorable and affordable gowns to be comfortable and stylish while in delivery.
•  Sweats for after delivery if you have a natural birth
•  Cotton underwear if you don’t like the underwear the hospital provides and sports bras or nursing bras, whatever is most comfortable for you
•  If you don’t have an Iphone or Ipod that can take pictures and want to bring a camera
• An Ipod or some device that can play music to help relax you
•  Toiletries -- toothbrush, toothpaste, ect.                                                                                                                           Anything else you think you may need the hospital will provide.  As far as what you may need for the baby, the hospital will give you everything you need, and what you don’t have your partner can bring you.

• Stock the car.
  Keep the hospital bag in the car at the ready because you never know.  Also, put some of the value pack peanut crackers or lunch bag size chips in the car for your partner to have because you don’t know how long the process will be.  Some women vomit during labor, so keep a bucket or barf bag handy just in case it’s a bumpy ride.

Bring anything you feel you may need or that makes you comfortable but here are just some essentials to bring to the hospital and some tips to help you leading up to the big day.

You've Been Marked!

So many things are happening to your body internally from the time you conceive.  Not only are there changes happening on the inside, but on the out as well.  In some women you will notice changes in your face, nose, lips, hair, and your skin.  The biggest change you will find is in your skin.  Some women are lucky enough to get stretch marks.

Stretch marks are when the elastic fibers under the skin’s surface break.  This results in purple or white lines that form on your body when your body is growing and your skin isn’t able to keep up.  Some people who gain weight in a short span of time may notice them.  In pregnancy, with your belly growing and your breasts growing if your skin doesn’t have enough elasticity to keep up with the growth you will see what is known as stretch marks.  You will most likely find them on your belly or breasts, but they can also form on your thighs, bum, lower back, and under arms.

When I was pregnant people kept telling me to rub cocoa butter all over my body to help prevent stretch marks.  The brutal reality is you can not prevent them.  It depends on the elasticity of your skin and genetics does play a part, if your mom had them you are at greater risk of getting them.  Though you can not prevent them, using lotions is certainly something you can do to keep them under control while you are expanding to make room for your little nugget.  Keeping the skin hydrated will help with the itchiness you may have from the skin stretching.  When you scratch the skin it will make the stretch marks worse.

The good news is after the pregnancy some of the stretch marks will eventually fade. They never really go away but they can fade to a faint line that blends more with the skin; however, there are some marks that remain front and center.  Since they can not be prevented, if you are lucky enough to get them, focus on helping them fade post pregnancy rather than trying to prevent them from happening.

Here are some ways to help stretch marks fade after the baby is born and improve your skins elasticity.

Massage the skin.  By massaging the skin with natural lubricants you will be helping the elasticity in your skin which will at the very least help in the color of the marks.  A few lubricants that are beneficial to use are:

• Almond Oil
• Alive Oil
• Aloe Vera
• Cocoa Butter
• Shea Butter
• Vitamin E Lotion

Drink plenty of water.  Water helps keep your skin healthy which should help your skin recuperate from the stress that it’s endured.

Exfoliate the skin.  By exfoliating the skin you will be getting rid of dead cells allowing the skin new skin to breath.  This will help with itchiness and will help the marks fade over time.  To avoid spending a ton of money on exfoliators that have a bunch of chemicals in them you can make some exfoliators at home.  Sugar is an excellent exfoliator and you can usually find it right in your kitchen.  If you add a bit of olive oil or almond oil and some lemon juice to the sugar you now have the paste-like substance you need to exfoliate.  When you shower gently massage this over the necessary areas for a couple of minutes and rinse it off.

Rub lemon over the trouble spots.  Cut a lemon in half and rub the lemon all over any trouble spots you find.  Lemon is an awesome way of rejuvenating your skin.  The acidity from the lemon helps fade any redness and helps repair the damaged skin.

Take a bath.  Not just any bath, add some sea salt to your tub of warm water.  The salt water will help excrete the toxins from your skin.  Sit in the salt water for at least 30 minutes once a week.

Carrots are your best friend.  Carrots are an excellent source of vitamin C which is great for keeping your skin fresh, healthy and beautiful.  You can drink carrot juice or make a paste to rub on your marks.  Mix the carrot drink with some sea salt or sugar and massage into the skin, allow it to dry before you rinse.

These are just some helpful tips on how to help fade the marks you may have gotten from your pregnancy.  I don’t recommend using any over the counter stretch mark creams during your pregnancy other than simple vitamin E lotion or cocoa butter because there are chemicals in any stretch mark cream that can be harmful to your baby.  Give some of these a shot and take some before and after pictures and see if your marks improved.  My stretch marks definitely have faded after 4 months of using these remedies.  If you find that they are not fading and are still very prominent the best advice I can give is embrace them and own them.  You earned those tiger stripes and it is a beautiful memory of the bond you have with your baby.

Where Did I Put Those Darn Glasses?

Have you been feeling forgetful lately? Maybe you were looking for your glasses, while they were on your face?  Or you thought you lost your phone so you tried calling it with your phone.  Maybe, you even locked yourself in your car.  This is called pregnancy brain.  Some women experience a complete haze during their pregnancy and don’t really know why.  Our dear friend progesterone is acting up again causing this temporary forgetfulness.  

I can recall working at a restaurant where I normally was the hostess.  I filled in on a few  occasions for the bartender because I had my license and previously worked as a bartender.  I had filled in at least 5 times at this particular restaurant on fairly busy nights, no big deal.  One night towards the end of my working days and into my bed resting days I was asked again to fill in.  I was so flustered and overwhelmed that I forgot how to make some of the drinks that I could have made in my sleep prior.  A man came in and asked for a vodka gimlet, my mind was in such a cloud I could remember how to make it...one of the simplest drinks to make!  I was so overwhelmed and felt so foolish because I couldn’t remember something so simple.  This was just one instance that happened, but so many things occurred that caused my boss to come over and say “You’ve done this before, right?” I explained that it was the pregnancy and I was just so flustered.  No one told me anything like this was going to happen. Luckily the woman who normally bartended became a good friend of mine and recently had a baby.  She explained to me it was totally normal.

Having pregnancy brain can effect your everyday activities.  It did in my own experience and some of my girlfriends as well.  It was so embarrassing that I couldn’t remember things and found myself getting flustered in a job I once was great at.  For so many women, this is the case.  Pregnancy brain can have different effects on women from forgetting where you put your glasses to rendering you unable to perform your duties effectively at work.

There are a few factors that contribute to this pregnancy brain and it is thought that if you change some habits it will help.

Get sleep!

You must make sure you get the proper amount of rest.  I know this can be difficult when you are uncomfortable, sick or constantly having to wake up to run to the bathroom, but do your best to get sleep.  Even not pregnant it is hard to function without a good amount of rest.

Eat a good diet!

In previous posts I have discussed nutrition and how important it is for your baby to get in the right nutrients and vitamins.  It is equally as important for you! Certain foods can also benefit your memory even outside of pregnancy.  Blueberries have been proven through studies to improve any short term memory loss, so stock up on the berries!  Also, tomatoes which contain lycopene, an antioxidant, that is known to help with memory.  Be sure to get in your recommended daily allowance of zinc which is 11 mg during pregnancy.  This will benefit both you and your baby’s brain.  To see more on nutrition and what foods give you certain nutrients and what they are good for check out an earlier post by me, Nutrition Is The Key, http://helpmomstone.blogspot.com/2014/02/nutrition-is-key.html.

Exercise!

Do your best to get some kind of physical activity in during the day.  I know certain circumstances may prevent you from this but do your best, it will make a big difference.  Exercise will help keep circulation flowing, release endorphins, and decrease fatigue.  With the circulation going, endorphins flowing and not being so tired you will have an overall better mental health.

Drink as much as you can!

Get in as much fluid as you can to avoid dehydration.  The last thing you want is an upset in your electrolytes.  Any disturbance to electrolytes can cause some confusion and decrease memory.  Keep the fluids flowing.  If you find you can’t drink that much make sure what you can drink counts.  Try gatorade or vitamin water, anything with electrolytes.  One tip is if you are drinking gatorade or any sugary drinks that have electrolytes be careful and try to get low sugar drinks.

Take your prenatal vitamins!

Be sure you are taking your prenatals to be confident that your getting vitamins and minerals in for you and your baby.  

The upside to this is your mind will return to its original state a few months after giving birth.  You will find yourself still having this pregnancy brain after birth, but you have now graduated to new mommy brain.  Try and have a sense of humor about the whole thing because otherwise you will get incredibly frustrated.  Know it is completely normal and hang in there!

For Mommas and Daddies!

At the time of conception you are in the starring role, from the time your partner sees those little blue lines you have been cast as a supporting actor.  Your job essentially for the next 9 months and on is to be support for your partner and baby.  Through the pregnancy and delivery it is crucial for your partner to know she can count on you for whatever she needs.  You will come to find out that what she needs may be outrageous,  and at times impossible but these are the joys of pregnancy.

For us women we have the normal fears and anxiety that come with being pregnant and delivering a baby.  We forget that it is equally as terrifying for you daddies.  I know now, after talking to my husband after the birth, about all the anxiety and fear he had as well, but never wanted to talk about because, well...if he did I would have ripped his head off.   I wanted to write about this for moms and dads.  I want all you expecting moms to understand that your partner is just as scared, nervous, and excited as you are.  It can be difficult to communicate about it because of all the discomfort, nerves and anxiety you may be having.  My husband never wanted to stress me out more or worry me by talking to me about how he was feeling.  I do wish he had, but I can understand now why he didn’t.  I was a bundle of nerves, super uncomfortable, sick, and he didn’t want me to worry about him on top of everything else.  As for you daddy-to-bes, it is okay not to be “the manly man” all the time.  Sharing how you are feeling, and trust me you will have A BUNCH of feelings, is totally fine.  You don’t need to have it together 100% of the time.  It is so important to talk these things out and communicate to each other how you are feeling.

Not all men will feel the same emotions upon the arrival of the baby.  I can only speak from my own experience with my husband.  Some fears he had were: 

Will I be able to support and provide for my family financially?  Will I be able to support her emotionally during her pregnancy, delivery, and entering motherhood?  Will I be a good support during delivery?

So many expecting dads have financial concerns.  Speaking from my own situation, no matter how comfortable we are, my husband is always worried about the finances and if there will be enough.  Also, with needing to work more to have more income to compensate for my lack of because I am now a stay at home mom he is always worried about not being there enough for me emotionally and to help take care of the baby.

To put your mind at ease, financially, things always seem to work themselves out.  Somehow you get what you need when you need it.  For us, we have a strong belief in God and that helps up through every struggle.  That isn’t for everyone and it is important to depend on each other and communicate with each other.  As far as him feeling bad for working rather than staying home with us... I prefer it this way.  Being home with the baby is my “job” you could say, best job in the world, but a job nonetheless. I always reassure him that he is helping me by going to work and keeping the income going.

Will I be a good dad?

I am not sure if every dad has this fear or not, but all the expecting dads I have spoken to most certainly do.  This doesn’t apply to everyone, but in some cases an expecting dad who doesn’t have the best relationship with his dad may have concerns about being a good dad to his own kids.  I believe there is a little piece in everyone that has this fear,  not for that reason necessarily, but becoming a parent is a huge deal.  You have now become responsible for this little human.  My husband and I had the overwhelming feeling that we never wanted to let our kids down and this made me and my husband both scared of entering parenthood.  In my husband’s case this fear came from his own upbringing, he was worried about letting his kids down the same way he was let down by his own parents.  The best way to deal with these feelings is to face that head on and decide to change it.  Rather than continue the pattern, change it.

How will having a baby affect my relationship?

The reality is it no longer is you and your partner.  You have a new member of the family that requires so much love and nurturing and for a little while your relationship won’t be first and foremost; however, it is important to set aside some time to spend just you and your partner.  Having a date night maybe once a week will be so beneficial to your relationship.

Aside from communicating which is key in your relationship, there are some things you can do together.  Mommas it is crucial to help your partner feel included.  Since dads are not carrying the baby they do not have the immediate bond you have. Daddies, it is so important to be there for your partners since there’s a lot she is going through from physical to emotional changes.  Here are some things you can do together and really make sure you are both equally involved.

• Go to prenatal visits together.  I wish my husband could have come to my prenatal visits and ultrasounds.  He was working so much and I didn’t realize how important it was to share the experience.  I always told him not to worry about it but looking back I wish we could’ve shared the experience.
• Plan for the baby together.  Go with your partner to baby shop and start up your registry together.  My husband and I would go just window shop all the time to look at everything and get ideas for the nursery or just to bond and share the excitement.
• Let him put together the baby items.  After my husband and I moved into our new place, I wanted to surprise him by getting everything done one day while he was at work.  I put together all the baby items, excluding the crib, and had the house set up by the time he got home.  I thought I was doing something nice for him so he wouldn’t have to worry about it, and though I was and he was super appreciative, looking back I realize how important it is for the daddy to have their nesting by putting together all the baby items.  Make it fun! Baby gear is tricky, take out the video camera and have fun doing it together.
• Workout together during pregnancy.  Come up with a routine for the two of you to help you both stay healthy, happy and give you some time together.
• Set aside some time for the bump.  When you are both done with your days and relaxing, play some music for the baby and interact with him or her.  Sing, talk, touch.  The baby hears you and knows you are there.  Just because the baby is not out of the womb yet doesn’t mean he or she isn’t aware of what is going on.  Babies are awfully smart and start to know Mommy and Daddy while cooking in the oven.  We used to play games with the baby.  We would play music for him and wait for him to start kicking, once he was kicking we would tickle his feet and he would kick back, without fail.
• Plan the nursery together.  Prepare all the little details of the nursery together.  Pick out colors, decals, lamp shades, every detail.

Do your best to enjoy every moment and all that comes with it.  Pregnancy is not always joyous but keep every minute as a blessing.  Remember to be sensitive to each other.  You are both entering into the unknown and must work together to help each other get through.  Cherish the good times and embrace the difficult and use it to strengthen your relationship.  Remember, it goes fast, enjoy each day together, even when you are ready to strangle each other.

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Keep It Down!

I want to discuss pregnancy induced hypertension (PIH).  It is something that is not necessarily a main concern initially when you are going through your prenatal visits.  It becomes a greater issue typically in the third trimester.  Questions I have been asked recently because of my experience are, “What is gestational hypertension?” “What is pregnancy induced hypertension?” What is preeclampsia?” “How do you get it?” “How can I prevent it?” “How will I know if I have it?”  I am going to answer all these questions and then some.

Hypertension is high blood pressure.  Blood pressure is the pressure of blood pushing against blood vessel walls.  When the force of the blood is above normal (120/80) this is considered high blood pressure.  Pregnancy induced hypertension (PIH) is high blood pressure accompanied by headaches, swelling in the face, feet and hands and protein in your urine.  PIH is also called preeclampsia, and toxemia.

There are certain factors that make you more at risk for PIH.  Being under the age of 20 or over the age of 35, being underweight or overweight, a history of hypertension, a history of PIH, a mother, sister, aunt or grandmother with a history of PIH or hypertension, kidney disease, immune disorder, and expecting multiples are all reasons you may be at higher risk.

If you experience any of the following immediately call your doctor or midwife:

-Swelling in the face, feet and/or hands

-Severe headaches accompanied by spots, dizziness and changes in vision

-Reduced urination or blood in the urine

-Flank or abdominal pain

-Vomiting and nausea

-Decreased fetal movement

These are all symptoms of PIH.

When you go to your prenatal visits your doctor or midwife will most likely take a urine sample and be testing routinely to see if there is any protein in your urine.  At every visit they also will check your blood pressure and weight.  If you have rapid weight gain, a high blood pressure and protein in the urine your doctor will order further testing for you and the baby.  There is question of high blood pressure when the systolic (above number) is between 120 and 139 and the diastolic (below number) is between 80 and 89, this is considered prehypertension.  Sometimes “office anxiety” kicks in and you temporarily have a higher read so in some cases it is best to ask your doctor to do another reading.  I had to get mine read at the beginning and end of my doctor appointments.

If PIH begins to get worse the only cure is to deliver the baby.  I remember being admitted to the hospital at 34 weeks and I was given magnesium to prevent any seizures and medication for the blood pressure.  At this point doctors and midwives need to look and see if the benefits outweigh the risk of using medication.  Make sure you do not hesitate to call your doctor or midwife if you are experiencing any of the above symptoms.

Sweet Dreams!

I found that for majority of my pregnancy I did not get much sleep.  Whether I was running to pee in the middle of the night or puke, or just uncomfortable I got maybe 3 hours of sleep a day.  When preparing for such a huge task your body should certainly be well rested.  I remember asking my doctor why I was unable to sleep, if there was an actual reason hormonally.  She told me that it was my bodies way of preparing me for what it would be like when the baby arrived...zero sleep.  Though partially true, also partially false.  You don’t know what your baby will be like once they are here.  For me, I was fortunate enough to have a good sleeper, he has slept great since the day we brought him home from the hospital.  Since the baby is sleeping 12 hours a night and 2 naps during the day, why would I need to be prepared for no sleep?

          I later learned through my studies that the hormonal changes in your body are the biggest reason for the lack of sleep.  The little dickens estrogen is the culprit, along with many other factors like the bulging human in your belly.  Any hormonal shift will cause insomnia.  Along with the hormonal changes, there are many physical changes taking place that are causing quite a bit of discomfort.  Some pregnant women experience leg cramps, difficulty breathing due to the baby’s positioning, frequent urination, constant vomiting, back pain, vivid dreaming (nightmares), anxiety about delivery, and a baby who decides it is time to play in the middle of the night.  These are all super normal with pregnancy but does make getting sleep a bit more difficult.  Not to mention, your partner is probably sleeping like a baby and snoring away, also keeping you awake.

          Some ways of coping with this insomnia are: 

• Exercise if possible.  If you and your doctor or midwife feel all is well and you are able to continue your daily routine, exercise is a great tool to help you sleep.  Exercise is great to relax you if you are dealing with any anxiety.
• Try not to nap a whole lot during the day.  I know how difficult this is because of the pregnancy fatigue but you will sleep much better if you avoid that mid day nap.
• Sleep where it is most comfortable for you.  Some women prefer the couch to their bed.  Whatever makes you most comfortable is key.
• Invest in a body pillow.  They are sold at at Wal-Mart, Target, most baby stores.  Shop around.  It will truly be a life saver.  It is so hard to get comfy at times and a body pillow will help relieve some aches and discomfort.
• Do your best to steer clear of caffeine.  I know for you coffee drinkers this one may be difficult, but do your best.
• Avoid drinking large amounts of liquid a few hours before bed.  Pregnancy is known for making you do laps to the bathroom so you want to do your best to limit what you have so you don’t need to go as much in the middle of the night.
• Find soothing sounds that you can play for you and your baby.  If nothing else is will help you relax and give your baby something nice to listen to for a bit.

          Hopefully some of these things will help you find some relief and understand why you aren’t sleeping.  Your baby will not be affected by your lack of sleep.  The baby sleeps independent of you.  It is totally normal but if you are feeling unsettles about it contact your doctor or midwife.

Rest Up Momma!

          There are many women that experience bed rest during pregnancy whether for a week or 3 months.  I was one of the “lucky ducklings” that was put on bed rest.  I had a few mommas e-mail me questions about my experience and if I found bed rest really helped.  I am going to start off by telling you that though I was prescribed bed rest, I did take occasional breaks.  Majority of the time I was not up and about, whether laying or sitting I was resting, but I would go for ride in the car just to get out and get some fresh air.  Research has not shown enough evidence that bed rest is beneficial for you and your baby; however, there isn’t research enough to prove that is isn’t.  Due to my experience with bed rest and my medical background, I just want to educate you a bit on bed rest.  I know so many expecting moms are faced with this and my hope is to let you know some pros, cons, risks, and benefits.

          Bed rest may be prescribed for the following reasons:
Pregnancy Induced Hypertension/Preeclampsia/Toxemia - For these conditions the only real cure is delivery.  I experience preeclampsia myself and thankfully had reached 37 weeks and was able to deliver.  If you have not reached the 37 week mark a doctor or midwife may prescribe bedrest so they can keep close watch on you.
Placenta Complications:
-Placenta Previa - When a woman has placenta previa this means the placenta has blocked the cervix not allowing the baby to exit.  Placenta previa can correct itself in some cases, but women may be put on bed rest to keep the pressure off the placenta and cervix.
-Placenta Abruption - This is when the placenta begins to separate form the uterine wall prior to delivery.
Cervical Insufficiency -  Cervical insufficiency means your cervix has begun dilating and effacing before your baby is full term and ready for delivery. With this condition there are no normally no symptoms.  Bed rest takes the pressure of your growing baby off the cervix.
Preterm Labor - If you are in preterm labor your body is ready to deliver the baby before the baby has reached full term.  There are many factors that can increase your risk of preterm labor such as:
-Smoking
-Alcohol Abuse
-Drug Abuse
-Health Conditions- preeclampsia, gestational diabetes, infections, blood clotting disorders
-History of preterm labor
-Having twins or multiple babies
-In vitro pregnancy
If you begin to experience contractions that are 10 minutes apart consistently, backache, increased vaginal pressure, cramping, gush of fluid, or any bleeding call your doctor or midwife because these are possible signs of preterm labor.

          By reducing activity and being put on bed rest there is a hope that the risk of preterm delivery or pregnancy complications will be reduced.  There are risks that can develop while on bed rest such as: blood clots, depression, anxiety, decreased birth-weight of your baby, difficulty delivering due to weakened bones and muscles, and slower recovery after birth.

          If you are prescribed bed rest you want to make sure you are getting a full explanation of what bed rest means to your doctor.  There are different degrees of bed rest so make sure you are asking the appropriate questions to be sure you are getting the proper information.  To keep yourself in the know here are some good questions you could ask your doctor or midwife.  What reasons are you recommending bed rest?  What degree of bed rest is appropriate?  What are the benefits for my baby and me? Do the benefits outweigh the risks?  What are some potential issues from bed rest for my baby and for me?  How long will I be on bed rest?  Can I do normal household chores? Can I take care of my other kids?  Is it best to lie on one side over the other?  Is it alright to continue sexual activity? If so, are certain positions safer than others?  If you don’t feel your questions have been answered to your satisfaction or feel uneasy it can not hurt to get a second opinion.

          Some research has shown that resuming your everyday activity to a lesser degree would be more beneficial for you than strict bed rest.  As I said before there are different degrees of bed rest.  Bed rest for a few hours a day while still resuming other activities to a lesser degree, bed rest which confines you to only activity in the home, and bed rest which means you are in bed only.  It is up to you and your doctor or midwife but make sure you feel comfortable with the decisions made.

           If you are prescribed bedrest and are limited to little or no activity it can be extremely difficult mentally.  It is important to give yourself some ways to pass the time productively, otherwise you will go insane.  I found myself going nuts throughout the day because I was alone and unable to drive or do anything.  Thank God for candy crush!  Have some friends come over and keep you company, even if just for an hour to watch a movie, it will make a big difference.  Use the time to bond with your baby, play music for him or her and talk to your baby, he or she can hear everything and is getting to know you.  Take the time to learn a new hobby like knitting.  Keep a journal of all your experiences, when the baby moves, how the baby reacts to certain things.

In my own experience I found bed rest to be both helpful but also not.  As I said before it is what you and your doctor or midwife decide and what is best for you and your baby.  I hope this helped educate you a bit about bed rest.  If you have any questions please feel free to contact me at helpingmommytone@gmail.com.

Rise Above It

          About two weeks ago I was on Facebook and my husband and I are both friends with people from our childhood.  I stumbled upon a nasty status about pregnancy from someone who was thought to be a friend of ours.  Following this, I went on twitter, to see the same.  Nasty tweets about pregnancy from people who were thought to be our friends.  Every single day I get negativity directed at me because I am only 21 and have a baby.  If I had a nickel for how many times a day I see statuses posted about young mothers and how “wrong” it is, I would be a millionaire.  Not only is there negativity out in the world, but also in the home where it is supposed to be safe.  Families can be the most judgmental and cruel when needed the most.

           I want to write about this because I know how it feels to constantly have negativity thrown your way while trying to find the positives in a situation.  It is a taboo but the reality is, not everyone is thrilled when they find out they are pregnant because it is marred by all the negativity out there, even in families.  I can only speak about my own situation to let you know you are not alone.

When my husband and I found out we were pregnant the first time we were 19.  Naturally, it was not ideal.  In telling our families, mine was a bit upset at first.  Not because we were having a baby, but because good parents know how much having a baby changes your life.  They knew that our lives would be changed forever and they knew all the sacrifice and struggle it would take initially for us to get on your feet.  When we told his family, the response we got was very surface and followed by the statement, “I hope you can do it.”  By the time my family came around to us having a baby, we had a miscarriage.

Six months after our miscarriage, we found out we were pregnant again.  The history behind me and getting pregnant is, well, I should not have been able to, according to 7 different doctors.  After my miscarriage I was told I would not be able to have children and if I did it would be through a painful invasive process.  They were incredibly wrong because not only was I pregnant twice in one year, but somehow managed to rise above those things we like to call birth control.

Naturally we were nervous to tell our families because we had been down this road once before and some of the reactions we got were unsupportive, judgmental, and inconsiderate.  My family was incredibly helpful and supported us no matter what happened.  We weren’t so lucky to have the same from some of his family.  We went to a family party for his family where we were greeted with the statement, “You guys are going to have a big family because you don’t know how to use birth control.”  Not to get into details but such an unnecessary comment when you have no idea what you are talking about.  Birth control doesn’t always work...but I digress.  It was this kind of negativity that lasted through my pregnancy and still continues.

            I am telling you this because I found it so hard to move passed this negativity when even the family was a part of it.  People say to me all the time, “You are throwing your life away.”  At first I would actually question myself, and during the pregnancy I actually felt embarrassed about being seen because I am so young and felt like I had to justify myself.  For any other momma who feels this way you must know that what people say does not matter.  The biggest accomplishment in life is birthing a baby.  I look at it as an honor that I got to bring this gorgeous baby into the world and am blessed with the task of raising him.  

            Every baby is a blessing, no matter what the circumstances from the minute that baby’s heart starts beating you are blessed with caring for this little human.  It is truly one of the most remarkable things in this world.  We have enough things that are negative in this world.  You must take the positives and hold onto them.  No one can take this away from you.  Hold your head strong and be the best mom you can be for your little one.  I find when the negativity comes your way, silence is best because what those people have to say does not matter and you are doing something far greater than they can ever know.  If you were “fortunate” enough to have in-laws like I do, the best advice I can give, is rise above it.  Your family becomes you, your partner, and your new baby.  You owe no response to anyone, including family. 

           As a good friend of mine in a similar situation said, “You will learn, in time, that you don't need to defend yourself or justify your decisions to anyone. Just focus on your baby and make a life for yourself. People will always have something to say. Ignore them, unless their opinion is of value to you. I felt like I had to prove myself to everyone. Turns out the only one I needed to prove anything to was myself. All moms, regardless of their age, are just doing the best they can. There isn't any one "right" way to do things...including the order in which you go to school/get married/have babies. That being said, it doesn’t hurt to go big and prove everyone wrong anyway.”  She could not be more right.  Live your own life and enjoy your beautiful family.

What About Prenatal Depression?

        Morning y’all! I want to talk about something that seems to be swept under the rug, prenatal depression.  Prenatal depression was never mentioned to me through my pregnancy by any doctor or midwife.  I went to the doctor the day my son was born because I hadn’t felt any fetal movement for almost 24 hours, naturally I was a little anxious.  Being sick for 9 months with hyperemisis, little to no sleep and other health issues, 3 weeks away from my due date, you could say I was a little on edge.  I had huge dark circles under my eyes, I was a nervous wreck because no movement was far form the norm for my baby boy, and let’s not forget I had been throwing up everything I ate for 9 months.  I was on the table with my mom in the room getting an exam to see how far dilated I was, and my doctor asks me...”are you depressed?”  Now!? You ask me now when I am 3 weeks away from my due date and have been going through this for 9 months!  Mind you I was high risk so since 16 weeks gestation I had been at the doctor every 2 weeks for my prenatal visits.  Needless to say, I was not happy.  She followed that statement with...”I just want to make sure I am not missing anything.” Depressed I was not, ready for the pregnancy to be over, I was.  I am telling you this because it absolutely floored me that 3 weeks away from my due date after seeing me every 2 weeks for 9 months suffer I was asked this.  I was not upset that I was being asked if I was depressed, I was upset and shocked that I was being asked this so late in the game.  If the doctor wanted to make sure she wasn’t missing anything, she would have asked at the first signs of me seeming off to what she was normally used to, rather than letting it go for 9 months.

I feel it is so important that you be your own advocate and pay close attention to your body.  Talking to your partner about any changes you may be having is really helpful also because an outside perspective can always see things that perhaps you can’t.  There are a few reasons you may be at higher risk for prenatal depression.  It doesn’t necessarily mean you will experience it but some reasons it is a possibility are:

• complicated pregnancy

-bedrest

-genetic testing

-prior health issue

• history of depression or anxiety
• prior miscarriage
• financial and job concerns
• relationship problems
• unplanned pregnancy

If you fit any of the above, you are at risk for prenatal depression.  That is not to say that  you can’t have prenatal depression if these things haven’t happened to you  Also, just because these may describe you doesn’t mean you will have prenatal depression.  Some symptoms to look out for may be:

• emptiness or sadness
• irritability
• lack of sleep
• too much sleep
• lack of concentration
• guilt
• panic attacks

If you are experiencing any of these symptoms contact your doctor or midwife.  Make sure you talk to them about how you are feeling.  Emotional health is equally as important as your physical health during pregnancy.  Be your own advocate and make sure you express to your doctor or midwife exactly what is going on and how you are feeling.  Depression can be environmental in some cases.  Most of the time it is a biochemical condition so it can be difficult to avoid.  In those instances that the depression is environmental, there are a few ways you can help in preventing prenatal depression, such as:

• Spend time with your partner
• Talk to your partner or counselor about any fears or anxiety you may be having
• Yoga classes or some form of meditation
• Have a healthy and nutritious diet
• Try your best to get out of the house
• Pamper yourself

For women who do have prenatal depression, know you are absolutely not alone.  Make sure you speak to your doctor or midwife right away to work on some ways you can deal with this.  I hope this helps in letting you know it can happen and does for one in eight women.  Stay informed and keep yourself in the loop with what is going on with your own body.